IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugars #health #people #sugar
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Nowadays, there are numerous food and drinks
products
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 contain a lot of which has bad for your energy and cause many matters of health. It is recommended that sugary
products
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 should sell more expensive to encourage humans to consume less
sugar
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 to protect their health.
This
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 essay will give causes for my answers and cover any examples from my own knowledge and experience I totally agreed that should be made high-price to encourage citizens to use fewer carbohydrate
products
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. One of the reasons is to avoid plenty of harmful diseases. If society
use
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uses
show examples
 eatables and drinkables containing high levels of carbohydrates, there will a higher blood pressure,
then
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 they can lead to many
illness
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illnesses
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,
such
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 as inflammation, weight gain and so more. Social statistics illustrate that 70% of citizens around Vietnam got diseases related to the digestive system, which is very dangerous to their health.
For example
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, old people using too many
sugar
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products
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 will get a harmful sickness and accelerate the ageing process. To solve
this
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 issue, the government not only made it more expensive to encourage people to consume less
sugar
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, but
also
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 make
this
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 to education. Every child when studying in a school should be learned about the disadvantages of using too many a glucose
products
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, to make a piece of knowledge for their own students,
then
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 they can avoid
this
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. From my point of view,
acknowledgement
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the acknowledgement
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 should be a substantial way to change consumer behaviour. In conclusion, sweets and many
products
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 including
sugar
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 bring many critical problems;
however
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, each individual should have an awareness to keep healthy and avoid the cause of serious diseases.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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