Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People have different views on the youth today idolizing athletes.
While
Linking Words
some assert that sportsmen inspire a lot of young minds for the better, others argue that they might not be the best people to look up to. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will examine both perspectives and state my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, athletes can inspire children to follow their passion.
In other words
Linking Words
, young people will be motivated to work hard and focus on achieving their goals.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, looking up to players can inculcate sportsmanship among teenagers at an early age.
For instance
Linking Words
, teens looking at their role models not winning every match or competition will help them see personal failures as learnings and teach them to never give up.  
In addition
Linking Words
to
this
Linking Words
, it will help broaden career opportunities for the generations to come.
For example
Linking Words
, most parents push their wards to opt for conventional job roles
such
Linking Words
as engineers, doctors and lawyers.
This
Linking Words
will give them an opportunity to see the brighter side of sports as a profession. Sportsmen lead an extremely active and healthy lifestyle,
this
Linking Words
would encourage kids to avoid junk food and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, following players may promote the use of substances among teens.
For example
Linking Words
,
with
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
more sports players getting caught using drugs or enhancers like steroids for better performance may result in inspiring teens to make unhealthy life choices.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
may
also
Linking Words
lead to children believing in taking shortcuts in the journey to becoming successful.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
idolizing athletes can have its demerits, I strongly believe the positive impact it has on young minds surpasses the negative influence. Drawing inspiration from the lives of sportsmen helps instil essential values and habits among the youth and helps build character.
Submitted by rashmitashetty97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Develop your ideas with more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are more logically connected and the flow of the essay is smoother.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exemplify
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • humble beginnings
  • motivate
  • inspire
  • teamwork
  • sportsmanship
  • negative behavior
  • drug abuse
  • unlawful activities
  • sensationalizes
  • unrealistic
  • unattainable standards
  • material success
  • skewed value system
  • high visibility
  • magnifies
  • faults
  • misleading
What to do next:
Look at other essays: