Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Many argue that

music

brings

people

of different

generations

and ages close to each other. I completely disagree with that because

Change the capitalization

show examples

think that

people

of different

cultures

and

generations

value different things. Different

generations

prefer different

music

For instance

music

Correct article usage

the music

show examples

Correct article usage

the 1990's

show examples

1990's

Fix apostrophe usage

1990s

show examples

was truly based on love and patriotism. Modern youth

Add the comma(s)

,on

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the other hand,may find it old fashioned and vintage. Youth prioritise sweet and heartbreaking songs as breakups are common now.

Furthermore

,our youth gets

adrenaline

Correct article usage

an adrenaline

show examples

rush by listening to pop and

hiphop

Correct your spelling

hip-hop

hip hop

music

on the other hand

,old

people

might consider it noise and useless sound.

Consequently

,these

generations

can never be bonded through

music

In addition

,different

cultures

value different things. Some lyrics which are famous among teenagers now can be considered explicit or vulgar

for

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traditional

people

That is

the reason why

people

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

can never have similar

music

interests.

For instance

,a verse from a song by imagine dragons stated as "love me like am

food

Add an article

a food

show examples

and you are hunger" traditional

people

would find

this

odd and disrespectful.

on the other hand

,western

people

would claim that it is

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

way to express your love to your lover.

This

contrast of opinion makes it difficult for two

cultures

to have

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

taste in

music

Consequently

this

will not bring them close to each other. In conclusion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

do not believe that

music

can bring different

generations

and

cultures

close because each era has its preferences and each culture has its own values.

Submitted by filzaghafoorjutt111 on Wed Apr 13 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

233 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Word Count

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are increasingly taking place online nowadays. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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