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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that university students should pay all the cost of studies because university education only benefits students themselves not the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #students #cost #studies #education #society
There has been a discussion about whether the cost of studying at
college
 and university should be fully borne by students. From my personal perspective, tertiary
education
 benefits both individuals and
society
 as a whole, so I do not feel that its tuition fees should be paid by those receiving the
education
 alone. There are two dimensions where we can easily observe the positive impacts that
college
 students bring to
society
, with the
first
 one being economics. While
college
 graduates, as shown in many surveys, are highly likely to enjoy a better wage than school leavers,
such
 an increase in their salary will
then
 translate into more taxes paid to the local government as well as more disposable income expended in daily life for either daily necessities or entertainment.
This
 means that individuals with a
college
 degree can certainly contribute to tax revenues and sales in retailing sectors of
society
.
In addition
 to these economic benefits of
college
education
 to
society
, an advanced collective capacity to adapt to changes
is
Correct your spelling
in
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 the
second
 dimension that I think
college
 graduates can help with.
This
 is because by learning how to learn in university, they have become continuous learners and
therefore
 are more capable of readapting themselves to the everchanging world, where the social and technological development of any nation must depend on a pool of
such
 talents.
That is
 to say, without a large number of university graduates, our
society
 would suffer a lot when facing social and economic challenges. With the two points made above, it is clear that human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 studying at
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
 do have significant benefits to
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 as a whole, so the proposal that
education
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 in
this
 field should only be paid by individuals is unreasonable. I believe government funding should be part of the cost, and
this
 can be in the form of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
government-funded grants or special loan programs to support students financially, especially those from low socioeconomic backgrounds.
Submitted by 656691977 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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