Due to development and expansion of supermarket many small local markets are unable to complete. Some people think that the closing of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#development #expansion #supermarket #markets #people #businesses #death #communities

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People

have several views regarding whether or not shutting down

Change preposition

apply

show examples

local organizations

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

various benefits

for

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show examples

society. Even though, I agree that small and local companies are sufficient to cope

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apply

show examples

and compete with large companies due to

immense

Correct article usage

the immense

show examples

advent of

modern

Correct article usage

the modern

show examples

world and expansion of

supermarket

Fix the agreement mistake

supermarkets

show examples

However

, I have mixed

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

about

this

assertion.

Firstly

, having

supermarket

Add an article

a supermarket

show examples

in society confer

plethora

Correct article usage

a plethora

show examples

of advantages concerning the time, as

large

Correct article usage

a large

show examples

shopping complex confer the opportunity to

populace

Add an article

the populace

show examples

to buy all necessities under of roof , which would be very convenient for them.

Moreover

, the option of purchasing

valuable

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the valuable

show examples

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

out of

large

Add an article

a large

show examples

variety of commodities is

also

possible with

Add an article

the supermarket

a supermarket

show examples

supermarket

Fix the agreement mistake

supermarkets

show examples

. Not only

this

, but

people

also

get durable products with the presence of

renowned

Correct article usage

a renowned

show examples

brand

tag

Fix the agreement mistake

tags

show examples

Last

but not least, facilities which are conferred by

supermarket

are very amazing which makes

purchase

Add an article

the purchase

a purchase

show examples

more comfortable . To cite an example, in shopping complex

people

can even buy small

needle

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needles

show examples

grocery

Fix the agreement mistake

groceries

show examples

, clothes and entertainment amenities under one building and we get one product with different brands like toothpaste .

As a result

, in terms of comfortability and options supermarkets are advantageous.

On the other hand

, local

shops

also

have their own importance in society.

Firstly

one stop

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one-stop

show examples

shops

provide cheaper products to residents. Being affordable, everyone can buy goods and

fulfill

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fulfil

show examples

their needs , as well as, bargaining is possible in

local

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the local

show examples

market , so personage can buy

commodity

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commodities

show examples

according to their budget.

In addition

, it

act

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acts

show examples

source

Add an article

a source

the source

show examples

of revenue for local citizens by giving them employment in different

shops

salesman

Add an article

a salesman

show examples

, which is

also

fruitful for boosting the economy. Research conducted by local authorities,

for example

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

reveals that in India, 70

percent

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per cent

show examples

people

Change preposition

of people

show examples

depend upon small

shops

for their

livehood

Correct your spelling

livelihood

Consequently

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

market is

also

important. To sum up,

although

the merits of

Add an article

a supermarket

the supermarket

show examples

supermarket

Fix the agreement mistake

supermarkets

show examples

cannot be replaced by local

shops

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

we cannot ignore the positive side of

street

Correct article usage

the street

show examples

market concerning

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economic development and affordability.

Submitted by rattankumar9771 on Wed Apr 13 2022

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Due to development and expansion of supermarket many small local markets are unable to complete. Some people think that the closing of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some experts believe that it it better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advaantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single-sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single-sex school have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?