IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is indisputable that historical places exert a profound and wide-ranging influence on contemporary society.
Although
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 people would see that stages and events are more attractive approaches.
However
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, I contend that
while
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 visiting
museums
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a pivotal and indispensable role in the person's
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 knowledge, it
also
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 presents some negative consequences that should not be overlooked. In terms of causes, local people want to go to a place where they can find happiness, enthusiasm, and joy so they can have a memorable memory as
museums
Use synonyms
 and historical sites do not present it. The primary justification offered in favour of
this
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 assertion is the low popularity of galleries. history Museum managers need to put some elements to attract children so families can visit the place to let their children learn about the country's history.
For instance
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, In Saudi Arabia, there are a lot of historical places you can visit but it does not attract us, so there was an intelligent administrator who did some beautiful marketing tricks , he put a prize in the middle of the museum. Nowadays local people visit the place to see the prize because after a child wins it, the manager makes it one of the arts.
This
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 simple fact highlights the importance of marketing.
In addition
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, the overwhelming cost of entering the
museums
Use synonyms
 prevents individuals from coming again later. In conclusion, parents should go to these sites so their kids are able to know their cultural history.
museums
Use synonyms
 manager must ensure that steps are taken to reduce the cost of entering.

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task achievement
Ensure to cover all aspects of the task, including both reasons why locals do not visit and measures to attract them.
coherence cohesion
Develop ideas more fully with examples and explanations to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Use more variety in sentence structures and vocabulary to improve comprehension and reader engagement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in structuring the argument.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the example from Saudi Arabia, is effective in supporting arguments.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Take for granted
  • Economical constraints
  • Routine obligations
  • Programming
  • Cater
  • Engagement
  • Community involvement
  • Personal connection
  • Cultural relevance
  • Discounts
  • Sense of ownership
  • Interactive exhibits
  • Local traditions
  • Field trips
  • Cultural bond
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