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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe the purpose of education is to make people useful to society. Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #purpose #education #society #ambitions
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The proportion of elderly people in the
population
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 is rising in many countries. I think
this
Linking Words
 trend creates more problems than benefits for society. An
aging
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ageing
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population
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 puts a heavy burden on the social welfare
system
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. The more retired people there are in a society, the more claims are made for
state
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the state
a state
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pension
Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
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. The government will have to increase funds for the state pension
system
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, while reducing funds for other social programmes, including financial support for low-income families, unemployment benefits and student loans. A higher proportion of elderly people in the
population
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 is
also
Linking Words
 likely to cause
labour
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 shortages resulting in lower productivity. Not only will
this
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 hinder economic growth
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
it will
also
Linking Words
 cause
labour
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 costs to rise. To cover higher
labour
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 costs, companies will have to raise the prices of their products and services -- a burden that will be borne by consumers. It is true that an
aging
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ageing
show examples
population
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 may lead to
a
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apply
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rising demand for healthcare workers and
therefore
Linking Words
 may create job opportunities in healthcare-related fields
such
Linking Words
 as nursing and pharmacy.
However
Linking Words
, compared with the negative impacts that
population
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 ageing would have on economic activities in other industries, the possible growth in healthcare-related jobs would seem insignificant. In conclusion, the rising
population
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 of senior citizens is a direct result of progress in health care and improvements in the standard of living, but I believe that the overall effects of
population
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 ageing on the social welfare
system
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, the healthcare
system
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 and the economy are negative. The government should extend the retirement age to prevent
serious
Correct article usage
a serious
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labour
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shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
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. Marriage and childbearing should
also
Linking Words
 be encouraged.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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