IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #music #culture #ages
Music
 is known as a global language that not only unites the masses but
also
 allows them to develop a bond. Many individuals enjoy listening to diverse options of tunes
thus
, no barrier pertaining to culture, caste, creed or age.
Therefore
, I strongly agree with the given statement and would share the viewpoints in the below essay. On one hand,
to begin
 with, the tune has the power to bring a vibe and rhythm to listeners.
This
 is not related to singing coming from a specific language but is based on how the tune is composed and whether it attracts the audience. To cite an example, the contrasting mindsets of people visiting a temple or attending a public function wherein they all enjoy the melody of the
music
 even if it is not in a known language.
Secondly
, not only youngsters but all the adults love to listen as it works as a stress buster which helps them in overcoming the hurdles related to joyfulness.
For instance
, the crowd attending the concerts being held anywhere in the world belongs to the age ground of 18 to 70 years.
On the other hand
,
although
music
 favours and aids in connecting people of like mindset, it is not always true for others.
This
 is because it is unpredictable what meaning it been conveyed from
music
 created in different languages as we lack the knowledge to understand or decode.
Furthermore
, listening only to melody might not help in all conditions. To illustrate, children should not be exposed to tunes that are created to communicate bad ideas about a nation or religion. To recapitulate, I support the aforementioned ideas of linking people with the same choices in
music
however
, we must be thought of what kind of songs we listen to and share.
Submitted by akshata6.kas on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • harmony
  • integration
  • bridging gaps
  • foster
  • ignite
  • embrace
  • communicate
  • celebrate
  • appreciate
  • inclusivity
  • universal language
  • emotional resonance
  • shared experiences
  • intercultural dialogue
  • intergenerational connections
  • cultural exchange
  • catalyst
What to do next:
Look at other essays: