More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number...) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge

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In today's world, many people publish their personal
information
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,
such
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as telephone numbers and addresses, for everyday activities like socializing on social media platforms. From my perspective,
while
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this
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trend offers certain advantages, it
also
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presents significant risks that cannot be ignored. On the one hand, sharing personal
information
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can provide several benefits.
Firstly
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, it allows people to connect more easily for various purposes.
For instance
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, many young professionals, particularly social media influencers, publicly share their contact details to collaborate with brands and promote products.
Additionally
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, disclosing personal details
such
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as skills, work history, and achievements on platforms like LinkedIn can enhance career prospects. Nowadays, recruiters frequently search for potential candidates online, which helps companies save both time and resources in the hiring process.
On the other hand
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, excessive sharing of personal
data
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comes with serious drawbacks. One major concern is the increased risk of cybercrime. Scammers can exploit publicly available
information
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for fraudulent activities,
such
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as identity theft and financial scams.
For example
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, criminals might use a person’s shared address to plan theft or impersonation.
Furthermore
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, companies and third parties often collect, analyze, and sell user
data
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without consent, raising concerns about privacy and
data
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security. In conclusion,
while
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sharing personal
information
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online facilitates professional networking and enhances accessibility, it
also
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exposes individuals to security threats and privacy violations.
Therefore
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, I believe that people should exercise caution when disclosing personal
data
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, ensuring they only share essential details on secure platforms.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by acknowledging potential counterarguments or discussing more examples of both positive and negative aspects.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, use additional linking words to help clarify how your examples connect to your main points. This will enhance the flow of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing the main points.
Task Achievement
Examples provided are relevant and illustrate the points well, particularly the mention of professionals sharing information for job prospects and the risks associated with data sharing.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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