Children today spend too much time playing on screens and not enough time doing physical activity. We need to get rid of our children’s devices to avoid severe strains on our health system in the future. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
With the rise of streaming services and the prevalence of video games, contemporary
children
spend a significant amount of time
on screens
and less time
engaging in physical activity. Although
I agree that physical activity is vital, I do not think it and screen
time
are mutually exclusive; IAdd the comma(s)
, therefore,
therefore
disagree that we need to eradicate screens
fully to keep our children
healthy. In this
essay, I will discuss this
issue using examples to support arguments and demonstrate points.
On the one hand, screen
time
can lead to an overall decline in physical health. When children
pass hours frozen, watching a video, they harm their bodies and their minds. For example
, doctors agree that children
who spend more than the average amount of time
on screens
per day without moving are more likely to be obese than children
who spend below average
Add a hyphen
below-average
time
watching screens
. Therefore
, minimizing static screen
time
is indeed a worthy goal.
However
, this
does not mean that the only way to do this
is by getting rid of screens
. Recently, programmers have developed a variety of applications that encourage children
to move. By training them to dance, perform martial arts, or do calisthenics
, these Change the spelling
callisthenics
screen
-based activities actually encourage movement. In fact, it has been noted that, on average, using such
applications burn more calories per day than a game of kickball. Encouraging children
to use their screen
time
on such
applications would therefore
give them the best of both worlds.
To sum up, although
a sedentary lifestyle has clear dangers, screen
use is not necessarily an indication that children
will burden our health system; by using screens
to promote, rather than replace, physical activity, we can prevent widespread health issues due to lack of movement. To this
end, parents should consider encouraging children
to use movement-based apps.Submitted by filzaghafoorjutt111 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite