IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Older
people
Use synonyms
 go to stay in old homes where nurses take
care
Use synonyms
 of them in Britain. There are instances when government bear the cost.
Hence
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the family should pay the cost whereas many think
otherwise
Linking Words
. I personally believe that government only should take the burden for
this
Linking Words
care
Use synonyms
 owing it is a basic
right
Use synonyms
 of any human being ,especially in old
age
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, medical
care
Use synonyms
 is getting costlier day by day.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many human
right
Use synonyms
 organisations has observed health
care
Use synonyms
 as a basic human
right
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
 authority should pay for it so that no one dies without proper
care
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, In India Supreme court has recognised getting medical treatment as a basic
right
Use synonyms
 and has asked the state to make new regulations so that everyone can afford the
care
Use synonyms
 they deserved.
In addition
Linking Words
, health
care
Use synonyms
 is becoming costlier
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 find
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
show examples
 to pay.
For Instance
Linking Words
, In many countries where medical treatment is private,
people
Use synonyms
 have to pay a large amount for Insurance just to cover their basic needs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, because elders can not really work for long hours to cover their treatments which get expensive in old
age
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, they find it challenging to cover themselves.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, families already pay a good amount of tax at a young
age
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, in return governments should take
care
Use synonyms
 of their basic necessities in old
age
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I am ultimately inclined to believe that government should take of their citizens in old
age
Use synonyms
 and provide the best medical facilities because it is a basic need of any human being.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the health system is becoming costlier
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 and unbearable for families and the old population themselves.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
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