IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today more and more toursts are visiting places where conditiond are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

#toursts #places #conditiond #sahara #desert #antarctic #tourists #visit
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It is true that nowadays human beings
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 visiting difficult
places
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as the Sahara Desert or
Antarctic
Correct article usage
the Antarctic
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. Even though
this
Linking Words
 trend can be beneficial because
people
Use synonyms
 likely to hit the gold of their life, the main disadvantage is that
people
Use synonyms
 could
be face
Change the verb form
be facing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problem which can be overlooked.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the most important reasons why
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development is that visiting problematic
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 might
be make
Change the verb form
make
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 travellers successful since few
persons
Replace the word
people
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 think travelling
on
Change preposition
in
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 hazardous
places
Use synonyms
 is challenging.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the latest survey conducted by Bangkok University,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
revealed that 80% of
tourism
Replace the word
tourists
show examples
 who have
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the experience
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experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
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to visit
Change the verb form
visiting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficult locations tend to be satisfied that they can make a killing of their fear. Having said that
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficult
places
Use synonyms
 plays a major role in someone’s fear which can be seen as an advantage. Alternatively,
this
Linking Words
 development is thought to be disadvantageous
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 visiting
such
Linking Words
 hard
places
Use synonyms
 allow
traveller
Add an article
the traveller
a traveller
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 to face the hazard.
This
Linking Words
 is because
places
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
high
Add an article
a high
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mountain
Fix the agreement mistake
mountains
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, deep oceans, or dark
cave
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caves
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 there might be dangerous
height
Fix the agreement mistake
heights
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 or
depth
Fix the agreement mistake
depths
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. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, in recent news, It has been reported that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travellers
Add an article
the travellers
show examples
 have been harmed by trying to travel
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
a risky
Correct the article-noun agreement
a risky place
risky places
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places
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, visiting areas where conditions are difficult
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can get
harm
Wrong verb form
harmed
show examples
 which can be considered a drawback. All in all,
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend is beneficial because
people
Use synonyms
likely
Add a missing verb
are likely
show examples
 to hit the gold of their life by
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
difficult
Change preposition
to difficult
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places
Use synonyms
, it can be detrimental as hard
places
Use synonyms
 allow
Add an article
the traveller
a traveller
show examples
traveller
Fix the agreement mistake
travellers
show examples
 to face the hazard that might be
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
show examples
.
Submitted by fon9sk on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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