IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
Organizations
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 thrive
for profit
Add a hyphen
for-profit
show examples
 employ different marketing strategies to enter the market or occupy a share big enough
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there. In order to be competitive, corporations try to sell themselves as innovators and claim that their offered
products
 are new or developed in some sense.
This
 can be because of the perception by consumers who think that new
products
 will handle new problems unlike old versions and another reason could be just simple interest of human nature to try something new.
This
 essay support
this phenomena
Change the determiner
this phenomenon
these phenomena
show examples
 as a positive case.
Firstly
, it is possible that
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 generation of a product can handle more or can fix some problems that previous ones could not help. Companies especially specialized
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technological
products
 tend to repeat the word “innovation” more often
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their slogans.
New
Add an article
A new
The new
show examples
 vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 can work with water unlike the old ones or vehicle
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 can attach a technology
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 emits less carbon- these are
development
Add an article
the development
a development
show examples
 of the items sold
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 previous decades;
therefore
 it is logical for the businesses to mention
such
 changes and communicate
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to their customer segment.
Moreover
, humans have an exploring nature and
this
 is
such
 a target point for companies to hit to sell more. People always appreciate
to try
Change the verb form
trying
show examples
 different tastes,
to go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 to new places or
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 one of these recently came
colorfull
Correct your spelling
colourful
 smartphones. Even in the marketing, there is a classification of customers regarding how fast they adopt innovations and fast adopters are called ‘’early birds’’. Trying something new sounds brave and exciting
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
 context eventually.
Finally
, innovations, overall, are good. It
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
 the producers and the consumers at the same time.
Everytime
Replace the word
Every time
show examples
, the
products
 get better
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 iterations and people get wiser
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 choosing the item that
meet
Change the verb form
meets
show examples
 their needs. To sum up, PR strategies of today include the words “innovation’’,
‘’developed”
Correct word choice
and ‘’developed”
show examples
 often and
this
 helps the businesses to acknowledge their customer base and encourage them to try their
products
. Through the process, all the stakeholders of the market get wiser, creative and
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 thrives.
Submitted by gulnar.irz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: