The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph depicts becoming difference in ownership of electrical devices
as well as
allocating
Correct article usage
the
show examples
amount of time to do chores in households in one country from 1920 to 2019. Generally speaking, the percentage of vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
remains constant between 1920 and 2019.
Moreover
,in 1920 the
ratio
of
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
the lowest point over the
period
.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
the number of hours of chores
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per week gradually falls down during the
period
. When it comes to details, refrigerator
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
commences with a tiny portion after that it skyrockets to just over 50% between 1920 and 1940,
however
, beginning from 1980, the refrigerator
ratio
is 100% and exactly the same until the end of the
period
.
Furthermore
, washing machine’s numbers
starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
the
period
with 40% and
then
it rises to 60% in 1940.In
60s
Change the article
the 60s
show examples
the washing machines percentage
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
70%
similarly
vacuum cleaner portion
the
Add a missing verb
was the
show examples
same as well.After 1960 the
ratio
of washing machines is fluctuating by 2019.Turning to vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
, it begins
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
30% and
continuing
Wrong verb form
continues
show examples
a gradual climb until 2000
then
the
ratio
is 100 % unchanged from 2000 to 2019. It can be clearly seen that there is a gradual decrease in the number of housework hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per week by 1960, it commences with 50%to 20%.When we observed between 1980 and 2019, the
ratio
is slightly fluctuating
at the end
of the
period
.
Submitted by haticecoza on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ratio, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays: