You recently bought a children’s toy online but when it arrived it was damaged. Write a letter to the manager of the toy shop. In your letter: • describe what the problem with the toy is • suggest how the damage may have happened • say what you would like the manager to do

Dear Sir, I am writing

this

letter to complain about the faulty delivery of my product.

Last

Sunday, I purchased a beautiful wooden house from your online store. When I received the package, my excitement turned into discontentment as the entire was scattered.

Moreover

, the roof sticks of

this

toy were totally crushed, and the lighting system was

also

not working properly. As far as

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

I can imagine, one reason behind

this

is poor packaging. All of the parts were packed usually in a plastic wrapper, without any sturdy covering them.

Thus

, the scattering would have happened during delivery. To prove my points, I am attaching the photographs of the courier I received. I would like to replace

this

wooden house with a new one. If it is not possible, following that I would like to request a full refund. I look forward to your quick action. Yours faithfully, Rupinder Kaur

Submitted by rupinderkaurrattu988 on Thu Apr 14 2022

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task achievement

Ensure the description of the problem is clear and includes specific details about the damage. For example, mentioning that the 'roof sticks were broken' and 'lighting system was malfunctioning' adds clarity.

coherence cohesion

Although the letter has a logical structure, make sure each paragraph contains only one main idea. For the paragraph suggesting the cause of damage, it may help to briefly mention the importance of proper packaging.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing are properly formatted and appropriate for a formal letter.

task achievement

The writing tone is polite and formal, which is suitable for this type of letter.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

151 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You recently bought a children’s toy online but when it arrived it was damaged. Write a letter to the manager of the toy shop. In your letter: • describe what the problem with the toy is • suggest how the damage may have happened • say what you would like the manager to do

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