IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

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People
Use synonyms
 have different views about
patriotism
Use synonyms
. Some
people
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 argue that the love
with
Change preposition
for
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 the
countries
Use synonyms
 can bring negative problems. While I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument, I strongly believe that
patriotism
Use synonyms
 may create a lot of benefits for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in general. On the one hand, it is true that
patriotism
Use synonyms
 may cause some problems because of the main reason. It is believed that
people
Use synonyms
, who love their
countries
Use synonyms
 too seriously,
uaually
Correct your spelling
usually
 have narrow-minded.
Therefore
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,
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 have the tendency to fight for their
countries
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 strong way.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
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 can use social media to counteract
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
people
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 who have anti-
piotriotic
Correct your spelling
patriotic
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
.
As a result
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, they can create hatred unnecessarily and it
also
Linking Words
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 the image of their
countries
Use synonyms
 become negative.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
, who can control their love
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
countries
Use synonyms
, can bring a lot of advantages for their
countries
Use synonyms
 and the society. The
first
Linking Words
 benefit is that
people
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 can give some compliments about the beautiful sightseeing and the human in their
countries
Use synonyms
 to the other
people
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their
countries
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 can attract many tourists.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if
people
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 have
patriotism
Use synonyms
 they might want their
countries
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become
Add the particle
to become
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 better.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can work harder to contribute to the development of their
countries
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 may try to get a
good-paid
Correct your spelling
good paid
show examples
 job and
then
Linking Words
 they can pay more tax for governments to improve healthcare and education systems. In conclusion,
patriotism
Use synonyms
 can
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 both advantages and disadvantages to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
However
Linking Words
, it seems to me that
people
Use synonyms
 should have the right way to express their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
countries
Use synonyms
. It can make their
countries
Use synonyms
 become more and more
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters
  • sense of belonging
  • strengthening societal bonds
  • instills
  • pride and loyalty
  • excessive
  • nationalism
  • intolerance
  • discrimination
  • conflict
  • blind allegiance
  • flawed policies
  • unifying force
  • crisis
  • manipulated
  • political leaders
  • division
  • advocating
  • responsibility
  • civic duty
  • engaged
  • informed citizenship
  • balanced and inclusive
  • cultural diversity
  • marginalize
  • minority groups
  • stifle dissent
What to do next:
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