Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Despite the fact that there are countless restaurants
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the heart of the city, we still decided to go
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
Korean
restaurant
Use synonyms
on a rainy day. Strangely, none of us actually managed to remember the
complicate
Replace the word
complicated
show examples
Korean name of the
restaurant
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
we have been there at least five times. The black wooden
door
Use synonyms
of the
restaurant
Use synonyms
was like someone who did not wish to hide
himself
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
façade of make-up and decided to wear his age plainly. The paint on the metallic
door
Use synonyms
handle already started to peel off, sending
chill
Add an article
a chill
show examples
up my arm as I tried to open the heavy
door
Use synonyms
. As I opened the
door
Use synonyms
, a wave of steam collided with my face and the strong, spicy scent of food creeped out
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
restaurant
Use synonyms
. Quickly closing the
door
Use synonyms
behind us, my friends and I found a
table
Use synonyms
near the window while taking off our wet coats and taking a closer look at the menu. Soon, a server came to our
table
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
swift steps. He spoke German with a thick Korean accent and nodded with approval as we took our orders.
However
Linking Words
, we were soon interrupted by the server, as he returned with four glasses and a huge bottle of water. With a clinking sound, he set down the glasses on the
table
Use synonyms
and went away as soundlessly as he had come. We stared at his back as he disappeared behind the counter and our conversation was restored over the pouring of water.
Finally
Linking Words
, after a long period of waiting, the server came once again towards us. Our conversation stopped abruptly as different
colored
Change the spelling
coloured
show examples
dishes started to appear on the
table
Use synonyms
. The
first
Linking Words
dish
Use synonyms
was the traditional Tteokbokki, despite its simple ingredient, the
dish
Use synonyms
was
nevertheless
Linking Words
a breathtaking one. Pure white simmered rice cake swam in the
chili
Change the spelling
chilli
show examples
paste, constellated with greens scallions. Impatient, I took a bite of the soft rice cake and the electric taste of
chili
Change the spelling
chilli
show examples
paste filled my mouth. Only after several bites, I
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
as if there are thousands
fiery
Change preposition
of fiery
show examples
tiny needles on my tongue which I took as a sign to leave
this
Linking Words
dish
Use synonyms
for a while. After turning my attention to other milder dishes, I realized that they definitely did not erode against the numbing one. The Odeng-tang was exactly the opposite of the previous
dish
Use synonyms
, not only contrasting greatly in
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
, but
also
Linking Words
in their tastes. Boiled fish cakes swam under the clear surface of the soup. Its fishy fragrance, lightened by pieces of Daikon, infuses the room and lingers in the air like
rain drops
Correct your spelling
raindrops
show examples
on the glassy window.
Submitted by lucy1119 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: