IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that history offers no practical benefit to society while others claim that history teaches us to understand the present. Discuss both views and give your own opinion .

#people #history #benefit #society
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The question of whether
history
Use synonyms
 provides an advantage to society is one
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 is debated. Some
people
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 claim it does as oppose to others
Correct pronoun usage
who says
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says
Wrong verb form
saying
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 it is a waste of time. I believe that
history
Use synonyms
 is important and it plays a vital role for those politicians as well as in
educational
Add an article
the educational
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 field. On the side of the debate are those
people
Use synonyms
 who argue that
history
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 really offers nothing for society today. They claim that, for the majority of occupations, there is not necessarily for
people
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 to acknowledge the past events.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
professions
Replace the word
professionals
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such
Linking Words
 as physicians,
manufacture
Replace the word
manufacturing
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 industries or even those on the infrastructure sites,
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
go with their daily life without input the
knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
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 from the past. There are other groups of
people
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 who claim that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 important and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a fundamental lesson for
people
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 to learn
history
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. As
history
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 can teach us about the mistakes in the past and big sacrifices in the war.
Hence
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,
by
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apply
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teaching
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
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 about the events in the past will
educated
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educate
show examples
 them from avoiding
history
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 repeating itself.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
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 many great inventions were designed as the wheel which was invented
from
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by
show examples
 our
ancestor
Fix the agreement mistake
ancestors
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. From my perspective, I will stand for the opinion that
people
Use synonyms
 should be taught about the
history
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,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 children will
memorized
Wrong verb form
memorise
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 the past and
being
Wrong verb form
be
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 grateful
to
Change preposition
for
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 the world they have nowadays. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
politicians, will
learned
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
 the way in managing the citizens with kindness and not
repeated
Change the form of the verb
repeat
show examples
 the wrong implementations from the past,
such
Linking Words
 as the time when countries
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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all invented nuclear weapons to protect their nations. It brings a terrifying drawback to the trust between countries and the organizations of the world.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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