IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people thing that more money should be spend on protecting valuable species ,While others think its is a waste of valuable money.What is your opinion

#people #money #species #waste
Capital is an important part of
society
 .Many people do think more
money
 spend on protecting endangered species.
However
 many do think that that
money
 should be spent on something more important.
Therefore
, I believe a balance must be between the two. Many people believe that
money
 should be spent on building more zoos for animals so that kids can learn about them,
Moreover
 ,some think that hiring more park rangers to protect the forest .
For example
 ,getting more cameras set up and drones to see who enter the forest and what they went to do.
However
,some people think that
this
money
 can be used to create more jobs and open up more educational facilities.To add, the shortage of
money
 will cause more inflation that will not benefit
society
.
For instance
, many do see the road are damaged that can be fixed and children need more buses to get to school. I believe that the species benefits the land ,by providing nutrients to the grounds to benefit the crops,and
this
 does benefits
society
 as a whole. In conclusion,some tend to agree that
society
 benefits from protecting these species ,while others disagree that the
money
 should be spent on other things.
in addition
 ,I think one must be radical with their view and should all aim and be equal.
Submitted by Januine21 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: