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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #cities #people’s #health
Nowadays, big capital
have
Change the verb form
has
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 changed a property from the past in a good way but it is
also
 changed in a bad way too. The big place
have
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has
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 more
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
 because it has a tonne of technology that produces the
pollutione
Correct your spelling
pollution
. I strongly believe that life in the
countryside
 is better in terms of health as in the
countryside
 does not really have a
poolution
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
 is one of the well-being issues for people as it is in the air. The big cities have more smoke because of the transport.
Car
 is the main reason. In the big place will have more people who use the
car
, you can notice by seeing how traffic jams in the big cities
is
Change the verb form
are
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. The
car
 produces a lot of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoke and it produces more and more. Even the time that we just start the
car
 and wait for the traffic light to change to green but it still produces. The haze can be as sound and light too and the sound
pollution
 can come from the
car
 or motorbike too.
Secondly
, the experience I used to study in a boarding school in the
countryside
. I could know that I did not get sick as I was in the big capital as the
pollution
 can come in several types but in the
countryside
 do not really have that
pollution
. In conclusion, I strongly agree that the people who live in the big cities can have poor well-being as it has a lot of things affect their well-being and haze is the one that can affect them the most .
Submitted by nattafirm1 on

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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