IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #cities #people’s #health
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, big capital
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 changed a property from the past in a good way but it is
also
Linking Words
 changed in a bad way too. The big place
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
 because it has a tonne of technology that produces the
pollutione
Correct your spelling
pollution
. I strongly believe that life in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 is better in terms of health as in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 does not really have a
poolution
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
 is one of the well-being issues for people as it is in the air. The big cities have more smoke because of the transport.
Car
Use synonyms
 is the main reason. In the big place will have more people who use the
car
Use synonyms
, you can notice by seeing how traffic jams in the big cities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
. The
car
Use synonyms
 produces a lot of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoke and it produces more and more. Even the time that we just start the
car
Use synonyms
 and wait for the traffic light to change to green but it still produces. The haze can be as sound and light too and the sound
pollution
Use synonyms
 can come from the
car
Use synonyms
 or motorbike too.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the experience I used to study in a boarding school in the
countryside
Use synonyms
. I could know that I did not get sick as I was in the big capital as the
pollution
Use synonyms
 can come in several types but in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 do not really have that
pollution
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I strongly agree that the people who live in the big cities can have poor well-being as it has a lot of things affect their well-being and haze is the one that can affect them the most .
Submitted by nattafirm1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: