IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Globalization is positive for economies but its negative sides should not be ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#globalization #economies
There are numerous beneficial factors that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
globalization may contribute to a high economic
status
 of a country
however
 its drawbacks must not be neglected. I firmly believe that it will have a great impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 economic development and I will give my support in the ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand,
gathering
Correct article usage
the gathering
show examples
 of different countries
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Dubai expo 2020 brought
a spectacular merits
Correct the article-noun agreement
spectacular merit
show examples
 to their economy
such
 as in the livelihood industries of the citizen.
For instance
, those locally made products will be introduced to different visitors and absolutely they will purchase
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for the sake of souvenirs. In
this
 way,
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 of Dubai will obtain high revenue and it will help its economic
status
.
However
, due to the congestion of tourists,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might be a contributory factor in
easy
Add an article
the easy
show examples
 transmission of upper respiratory infections like flu, but the health institution of Dubai will adhere to effective handwashing for the people to prevent the transmission of viral infection.
Thus
, the positive effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 its economic
status
 will not hinder the health of the public.
On the other hand
, globalization
also
 attracts people globally to explore a specific country.
Such
 as in Japan, where the previous
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
Olympics
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 held; most Japanese
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 information
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
 different tourist destinations to all the visitors coming from different continents of the world. In
such
 a way,
this
 will make
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 tourism industry
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
procure a
high income
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
 tax return from all the visitors. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 high waste products will arise due to the high impact of tourist,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 their government were implementing numerous signage in every corner of the tourist spot on how to properly
dispose
Add the preposition
ofdispose
show examples
 their garbages in
such
 a way that surroundings cleanliness will be maintained.
Hence
, Japan will get a high income for
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
 industry as well as
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
show examples
 the beauty of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. In summary, all
diffrerent
Correct your spelling
different
 gatherings of individuals to a specific country that would give a high revenue to their economic
status
 is a great help to all,
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 ruining the mother earth as well as the health of the public by giving a huge emphasis on it as well.
Submitted by maymosqueda on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: