IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#governments #money #individuals #events #people #benefit
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All games and
sports
Use synonyms
 require hard work and dedication to excel on
international
Add an article
an international
the international
show examples
 level. To assist an athlete excellent training and coaching facilities are imperative for improvements.
Hence
Linking Words
, I strongly agree that governments should use the
Correct your spelling
taxpayer
show examples
tax payer
Correct your spelling
taxpayer
show examples
 money to fully fund all international
athletes
Use synonyms
. Complete support from
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 is necessary because government bodies provide
structure
Use synonyms
 and the
world class
Add a hyphen
world-class
show examples
 training
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
costly
Add a missing verb
are costly
show examples
 to be borne only by the sportsperson.
Firstly
Linking Words
, any
country
Use synonyms
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 a solid foundation and
structure
Use synonyms
 to nurture successful international players. A
structure
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 in the field of
sports
Use synonyms
 will ensure
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 talent hunt and trickle down of opportunities to the
grass root
Add a hyphen
grass-root
show examples
 level.
In
Change preposition
To
show examples
 my knowledge, Australia has
excellent
Correct article usage
an excellent
show examples
 sporting
structure
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, because of which it has many successful
athletes
Use synonyms
 in Cricket,
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
 and Tennis.
Secondly
Linking Words
, for any player to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 greatness, they need to
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 improve their performance. With
Add an article
the advancement
show examples
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
show examples
 in
sports
Use synonyms
 science, amenities
such
Linking Words
 as Ice
bath
Fix the agreement mistake
baths
show examples
 and
cyrotherapy
Correct your spelling
cryotherapy
hydrotherapy
 are essential to maintain muscle strength and body weight.
In addition
Linking Words
,
world class
Add a hyphen
world-class
show examples
 training grounds / courts and coaches are required to help an athlete significantly improve their skills and abilities. From my personal experience, I have seen my
country
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, India investing in
world class
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world-class
show examples
 facilities for all the
athletes
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 due to which my India's sportsperson has won many trophies and accolades on
international
Add an article
an international
the international
show examples
 level
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 5 years. To sum it up, as international
athletes
Use synonyms
 represent their
country
Use synonyms
 across the globe, they become a symbol of pride for the entire
country
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, I strongly agree that
Correct your spelling
government
governemnt
Correct article usage
the governemnt
show examples
 should invest efforts to put a proper
structure
Use synonyms
 in place for
sports
Use synonyms
 individuals to flourish and make quality training
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, machines, and facilities accessible to all international
athletes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by deepika Tomar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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