IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Parents should spend more time with their children helping them with their homework. Agree/disagree?

#parents #time #children #homework
In today’s busy
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
 many
parents
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not get enough
time
 to spend with their
children
however
 they should give ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
 to their homework.
Hence
 , I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
100% concur with
this
 essay's advice.
Firstly
 ,
this
 essay will discuss why
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 notable for
parents
 and afterwards will explain what
would be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
complication
Fix the agreement mistake
complications
show examples
 their
children
 may face in higher studies. On the one hand, it is important to spare some
time
 from our routine in order to track our
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
education
 and how well they are performing in their studies. It
also
 helps them to create a
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
stronger bond with each other. In
another word
Fix the agreement mistake
other words
show examples
, it becomes much easier for them to notice in any case their
children
 need some extra attention on any particular subject to improve scores
may
Correct word choice
and may
show examples
 be child hesitant
in asking
Change preposition
to ask
show examples
 their doubts in class or in front of the teacher. Because
this
 is the only
time
 when
parents
 can create their
Change noun form
children's
show examples
children
education
 base.
For instance
 , When I was in primary studies, I
feel
Wrong verb form
felt
show examples
 uncomfortable asking questions to my tutors and my
parents
know
Wrong verb form
knew
show examples
 the same,
therefore
 they usually helped me in my
education
 and because of their valuable
time
Add a comma
,
show examples
I was always a topper in my university.
On the other hand
 , those who don’t concentrate on their
Change noun form
children's
show examples
children
 homework and remain busy with work or anything inclining their
Change noun form
children's
show examples
children
 future towards the dark side,
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
 may lead them to confusing conditions where they probably can not differentiate between good or bad regards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
further
education
 or in selecting a career.
For Example
 , research done by students of
oxford university
Correct your spelling
Oxford University
show examples
 in 2016 shows that
parents
 who fail to manage
time
 with their
children
 during their study times
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
often
seen
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 their
children
 dealing with many mental problems.
Hence
 ,
parents
 should look after their
Change noun form
children's
show examples
children
education
 and spare as much
time
Correct word choice
as
show examples
they can in order to build their
child
Change noun form
children's
show examples
confidence and each other bond
stronger
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by chhabra.shekhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental involvement
  • academic development
  • parent-child relationship
  • supported and encouraged
  • confidence and independence
  • educational strategies
  • autonomous learning
  • foster a love for learning
  • tailored interventions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: