Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

Many of us believe parents of overweight

children

should be penalized for their bulkiness

however

, I do not agree with the statement.Though in

this

essay am going to discuss various reasons behind being fatty. To commence with, it was seen in many types of research in medial sectors that most of the kids are heavy in weight because of some kind of disorder in their body structure.They usually do not eat outside or junk food but still put on weight.

Furthermore

, we are living in a world where crime rates are increasing day by day which

also

leads

children

away from outside activities another reason is there are few physical activities in school and they are mainly focused on academics.

Moreover

, food available in markets contains more sugar and fatty ingredients in them.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

research shows

children

have fond of sodas that especially they spend more of their pocket money on buying these unhealthy products.

In addition

, we are in an era of technology

hence

, there are numerous devices available

for example

video games that have now advanced graphics and sounds system that led

children

to spend more time playing indoor games that leading them to stay inside their houses rather than going for outdoor activities. In conclusion, parents are not responsible for making their little ones fat it is our new

technology

Replace the word

technological

show examples

world

that is

gradually increasing and pushing our

children

towards a sedentary lifestyle

also

as said earlier it can be due to some health-related issues as well.So everyone understands the fact

first

instead

of blaming anyone for anything.

Submitted by chhabra.shekhar on Fri Apr 15 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
genetics
socio-economic status
nutritional education
physical activity programs
adverse effects
mental health issues
responsibility sharing
implementation
privileged families
supportive environment
lifestyle changes
educational campaigns

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Write about the following topic. Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home,leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In contemporary society, the constant emergence of advanced technological products significantly influences various aspects of our lives, including work, education, and leisure. Providing a context for this discussion, it is essential to recognize the profound impact technology has on individual behavior and societal dynamics.
5
band
Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.
There is no doubt that we are living in an era in which most people use social media more than ever before. Some people have the opinion that the production of these social media is very useful for today’s life, but there are still some people who think that having these social networks is bringing a lot of bad results to society. I suppose that social media have countless benefits for us, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
7.5
band
Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. Do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
The world that we live in today is dominated by advertising. Advertisements are on television, on the World Wide Web, on the street and even on our mobile phones. I believe that many of the strategies used to sell a product or service are very annoying as they disturb the privacy of an individual as well as influence people to purchase unwanted products.
7.5
band
Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people believe that it is too late to do something while others believe the actions can be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both the prospectives and give your opinion.
Anthropogenic activities have devastating effects on the environment. Some individuals reckon that the right time is gone to handle this situation, while others rely on the protection method. According to the former view, the maximum number of species of plants and animals are destroyed, but efforts should be taken to raise them.
7
band
Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, the technological revolution has noticeably rejuvenated the education process. Indeed, online classes have been provided by some universities and institutions around the world. However, running out courses on the internet has many more disadvantages in comparison with the traditional classes.

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. Do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people believe that it is too late to do something while others believe the actions can be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both the prospectives and give your opinion.

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?