There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#workers #work #home #students #study #computer #technology #development

The advancement in technology drastically changes the lifestyle of human beings to the extent that nowadays industries and schools are running from the ease of

home

as it seems more affordable and convenient. I personally believe that it has more adverse effects rather than positive impacts because

this

raised

Wrong verb form

raises

show examples

personal

as well as

health-related problems. There are abundant reasons to support my viewpoint.

Firstly

, working from

home

has many detrimental effects on health and fitness.

For example

, when a person goes to the office has to get up early,

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

breakfast on time and

then

move towards his destination which seems missing in the

home

office environment.

This

results in a sedentary lifestyle which causes chronic diseases like obesity, heart

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

, high blood pressure and many more.

Moreover

, an employee has to work alone in his room, so he is unable to learn new skills from the experience of old employees to some extent.

In addition

to above mentioned negative ramifications on working employees, there are huge negative consequences

Change preposition

for

show examples

students

also

For instance

, the student cannot learn teamwork from remote activities.

As a result

, he can feel loneliness and stress which can have demerits in the long run.

Furthermore

, in virtual classes, a juvenile can gain only theoretical knowledge not practical, so it is

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

comprise

Wrong verb form

comprised

show examples

of learning pathways. In conclusion, even though studying and working from

home

seems interesting because it is cost-effective and easily accessible, it has numerous negative effects on physical and mental health which cannot be ignored.

Submitted by sdeepkaur9 on Fri Apr 15 2022

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task response

Improve the task response by providing a more balanced view with counterarguments and a stronger conclusion.

coherence

Enhance coherence by structuring the essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and maintaining a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.

cohesion

Ensure the introduction includes a clear thesis statement and the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that developing countries need financial help from international organizations. Others think that it is practical aid and advice that is needed. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been proved that smoking kills. In some countries it has been made illegal for people to smoke in public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?