IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People’s shopping habits depend on more on the age group they belong to than other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people’s #habits #age #group #factors
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People
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belong
Wrong verb form
belonging
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 to different
age
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 groups tend to have various patterns of shopping that usually depends on their distinct demands.
Although
Linking Words
 these
deamnds
Correct your spelling
demands
 of
people
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 are sometimes decided by the culture and environment around them, it is always more closely related to their ages. I certainly agree
with
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apply
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that the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
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 factor (
age
Use synonyms
 group) than the former one has more influence on
people
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’s shopping habits. It is evident that differently aged
people
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 consume typical types of products and services. As
a
Correct article usage
apply
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common knowledge, the vast majority of the consumption
on
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of
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 the services that offer higher education is young adults between 17-
27
Correct word choice
and 27
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 years old, with only an extremely small percentage of middle-aged and old
people
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. What is more, citizens whose
age
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under
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is under
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 40 tend to have a much larger expenditure on all types of goods
in
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on
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 average than
who
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those who
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 are above 40
.
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?
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 To be more detailed, in the
age
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 group of under 40,
people
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 aged about 20 are inclined to spend more on fashion products and luxury as they are young and more passionate
in
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about
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 social activities, while
people
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 about 30 are likely to spend more on commodities owing to the family they need to look after.
However
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,
besides
Linking Words
age
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, there is another influential factor that can affect
people
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’s choices of shopping—culture.
For example
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,
people
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 from Asia consume much more quantity of rice than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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 from Europe or America.
In addition
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, unlike
Asian
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in Asian
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 countries where
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the population
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population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 are so dense, almost every single American resident owns a car.
This
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 type of well-established
behavior
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behaviour
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 is especially associated with the unique environment and culture accompanied
around
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by
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people
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 during their growth.
Hence
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, living in close regions shows a similar
prefer
Replace the word
preference
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on
Change preposition
for
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 shopping. In conclusion, despite the reflection on shopping habits brought and limited by cultural differences, globally,
age
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 has
a
Remove the article
apply
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stronger influential power and
thus
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 helps form a more united
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 of consuming.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • shopping habits
  • age group
  • generational differences
  • individual preferences
  • interests
  • socioeconomic factors
  • cultural influences
  • marketing strategies
  • advertising
  • online shopping
  • technology
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