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Band 6

People’s shopping habits depend on more on the age group they belong to than other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people’s #habits #age #group #factors
People
belong
Wrong verb form
belonging
show examples
 to different
age
 groups tend to have various patterns of shopping that usually depends on their distinct demands.
Although
 these
deamnds
Correct your spelling
demands
 of
people
 are sometimes decided by the culture and environment around them, it is always more closely related to their ages. I certainly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
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that the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
 factor (
age
 group) than the former one has more influence on
people
’s shopping habits. It is evident that differently aged
people
 consume typical types of products and services. As
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
common knowledge, the vast majority of the consumption
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the services that offer higher education is young adults between 17-
27
Correct word choice
and 27
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 years old, with only an extremely small percentage of middle-aged and old
people
. What is more, citizens whose
age
under
Add a missing verb
is under
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 40 tend to have a much larger expenditure on all types of goods
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 are above 40
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 To be more detailed, in the
age
 group of under 40,
people
 aged about 20 are inclined to spend more on fashion products and luxury as they are young and more passionate
in
Change preposition
about
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 social activities, while
people
 about 30 are likely to spend more on commodities owing to the family they need to look after.
However
,
besides
age
, there is another influential factor that can affect
people
’s choices of shopping—culture.
For example
,
people
 from Asia consume much more quantity of rice than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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 from Europe or America.
In addition
, unlike
Asian
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in Asian
show examples
 countries where
Add an article
the population
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population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 are so dense, almost every single American resident owns a car.
This
 type of well-established
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is especially associated with the unique environment and culture accompanied
around
Change preposition
by
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people
 during their growth.
Hence
, living in close regions shows a similar
prefer
Replace the word
preference
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 shopping. In conclusion, despite the reflection on shopping habits brought and limited by cultural differences, globally,
age
 has
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stronger influential power and
thus
 helps form a more united
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of consuming.
Submitted by 59213142 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • shopping habits
  • age group
  • generational differences
  • individual preferences
  • interests
  • socioeconomic factors
  • cultural influences
  • marketing strategies
  • advertising
  • online shopping
  • technology
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