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Band 5.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members how to be good members of society. Others, however believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
Nowadays there are main factors that affect to child's development and behaviour
such
 as media, peers,
school
 and teachers. It is often held that
parents
 ought to teach their
children
 how to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good people and how to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good people in the community. While some people argue that
school
 is one of the best places to
influence
children
's habits.
This
 essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the letter.
First
 of all, we as a community think that
school
 is not only a place to impact
children
's behaviour but the place to learn how to be good members of society.
Moreover
, teachers and peers have a significant
influence
 on the life of
children
.
For instance
, the books read by
school
 students
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can take more and more advice on how to be
high-quality
Add an article
a high-quality
the high-quality
show examples
 person.
On the other hand
, a child's behaviour could affect by their
parents
. Because the child copies their
parents
' character.
For example
,
children
 who come from dysfunctional
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 often show behavioural problems at
school
.
that is
 why
parents
 must take
children
's upbringing to their duty. In my opinion,
children
's choice like friends, books and music depends on their
parents
, as
parents
 have a significant
influence
.
therefore
,
parents
 can control by
parents
 app. to conclude, the outside world can
influence
children
 through intellectual development. I believe that
parents
 are the best foundation for
children
's life.
Submitted by k.j.e.94_kz on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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