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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well.

#people #teenager #community #work #time #benefit #teenagers
someone
Correct pronoun usage
Some
show examples
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that
teenagers
 working in
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 in their free
time
 should be unpaid because it can be a benefit for both
teenagers
 and
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
, while other people think that should
paying
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 money to
teenagers
. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 should not pay money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
a teenager
show examples
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 because they
work
 in their free
time
.
To begin
 with, I strongly believe that
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 should not be paid to
teenagers
 because it is willing
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
 in
community
Add an article
a community
the community
show examples
 that
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not have
someone
 to force them to
work
.
Teenagers
 who participate in voluntary
work
 in
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 in their free
time
 can develop many social skills
such
 as teamwork, communication, management skill and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 when their
work
 with other people
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 different
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
. Some activities can be
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to build their interest and can become a job.
For example
, if
someone
Add a missing verb
is interest
show examples
interest
Wrong verb form
interested
show examples
 in teaching, they will be a teacher or
tutoring
Replace the word
tutor
show examples
 as well as if
someone
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoys
show examples
 in
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 care of people, they will be
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
show examples
 or
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
In addition
, working on voluntary activities in
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 make
teenagers
 aware of their society and
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 environment
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them gain more experience to develop their personalities and responsibility.
Moreover
, working in
community
Correct article usage
a community
show examples
 can
be display
Change the verb form
display
show examples
 the real situations that happen in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, and it can be useful in spending
time
 working
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
,
Add an article
the parent
a parent
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 should encourage theirs’s
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 to
working
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
For example
, some parents have distributed some food to
homeless
Correct article usage
the homeless
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their special day
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is a good example for
teenagers
 to follow. In conclusion, I strongly agree that
teenagers
 should not get money from working in
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 because they
work
 voluntarily and get the benefit from working in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
Submitted by ploysrisupak on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • community service
  • empathy
  • real-world issues
  • problem-solving skills
  • social skills
  • networks
  • constructive
  • detrimental activities
  • college applications
  • job resumes
What to do next:
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