IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well.

#people #teenager #community #work #time #benefit #teenagers
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Use synonyms
someone
Correct pronoun usage
Some
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believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 working in
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 in their free
time
Use synonyms
 should be unpaid because it can be a benefit for both
teenagers
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
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, while other people think that should
paying
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 money to
teenagers
Use synonyms
. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
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 should not pay money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
a teenager
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teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
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 because they
work
Use synonyms
 in their free
time
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I strongly believe that
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 should not be paid to
teenagers
Use synonyms
 because it is willing
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
a community
the community
show examples
 that
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not have
someone
Use synonyms
 to force them to
work
Use synonyms
.
Teenagers
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 who participate in voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 in their free
time
Use synonyms
 can develop many social skills
such
Linking Words
 as teamwork, communication, management skill and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
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 when their
work
Use synonyms
 with other people
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 different
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
. Some activities can be
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to build their interest and can become a job.
For example
Linking Words
, if
someone
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is interest
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interest
Wrong verb form
interested
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 in teaching, they will be a teacher or
tutoring
Replace the word
tutor
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 as well as if
someone
Use synonyms
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoys
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 in
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 care of people, they will be
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
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 or
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, working on voluntary activities in
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 make
teenagers
Use synonyms
 aware of their society and
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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 environment
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them gain more experience to develop their personalities and responsibility.
Moreover
Linking Words
, working in
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
a community
show examples
 can
be display
Change the verb form
display
show examples
 the real situations that happen in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, and it can be useful in spending
time
Use synonyms
 working
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
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. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
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,
Add an article
the parent
a parent
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 should encourage theirs’s
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 to
working
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, some parents have distributed some food to
homeless
Correct article usage
the homeless
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their special day
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is a good example for
teenagers
Use synonyms
 to follow. In conclusion, I strongly agree that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should not get money from working in
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 because they
work
Use synonyms
 voluntarily and get the benefit from working in
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
Submitted by ploysrisupak on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • community service
  • empathy
  • real-world issues
  • problem-solving skills
  • social skills
  • networks
  • constructive
  • detrimental activities
  • college applications
  • job resumes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: