Some people say that most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cooperation

Many of us believe critical issues could be resolved by

taking

Verb problem

getting

show examples

help from foreign

companies

.I agree with the given statement and

this

essay will discuss the same.

Firstly

, Multi-National Cooperation has vast

data

collected from around the globe in order to maintain

data

structure.

Secondly

, these

companies

hire well-experienced people for their

organizations

from different parts of the world. To commence with, Multi-National

Organizations

are always into deep research for every kind of problem persisting around the planet they have extensive

data

structures which can help to rectify various disputes as these

data

are well organized and have a lot of proven strategies.Few international

companies

work

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

only

Rephrase

apply

show examples

maintain records of each sector worldwide like transportation, agriculture, medical,

manufacturing

Correct word choice

and manufacturing

show examples

industries and the list is endless.

On the other hand

, these

organizations

hire well-experienced employees from all around the world and use their vast knowledge to resolve many

emergencies

Change the noun form

emergency

show examples

situations.

Furthermore

experience

Replace the word

experienced

show examples

candidates do not require any deep training and their ideas mostly justify the resolution offered by them.

For instance

, research done by students of

oxford university

Correct your spelling

Oxford University

show examples

USA in 2016 and 2018 found that resolutions provided by experienced people are much more effective than

Change preposition

by a

show examples

non or

low

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

knowledgeable candidate.

To conclude

urge

Wrong verb form

urging

show examples

help from international

companies

could be the best available option out there because of their well-maintained

data

along with

research

Correct article usage

the research

show examples

they use to do in real-time.

Also

, staffing only experienced people in their

organizations

from many parts of the world could be a top-up in resolving of given or any upcoming problem.

Submitted by chhabra.shekhar on Sat Apr 16 2022

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Task Response

The introductory paragraph does not clearly state the writer's position or argument. It is important to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the given statement in the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks coherence and cohesion, as the ideas are not logically organized and there is a lack of clear connection between sentences and paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and improve the overall structure of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there is more advantage to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of great responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?