IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that technology has made man more social.To what extent do your agree or disagree?

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It is undeniable that technology is crucial for almost every aspect of people’s lives.Some people consider that it has improved sociability among humans.Despite it causes several health issues.
This
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 essay will argue about both benefits and drawbacks and at
last
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 will state a personal opinion.
To begin
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 with, people are able to keep in contact via electronic devices with others who live across the sea by using applications
such
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 as Instagram, Facebook,Facetime and Whatsapp.
For example
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, friends who have moved abroad can have a conversation face-to-face with old friends the same as if they were in the same place with a click of a finger on the screen.In comparison with the
last
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 few decades, when communication was significantly more difficult and time-consuming to send letters.
On the other hand
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, devices release radiation that has an impact on humans’ brains.
As a result
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, people may get mental illnesses.The report shows that 70% of teenagers who spend a long period of time on mobile phones end up in the hospital due to headaches from a rise in stress levels and nerves damaged from the radiation. In my opinion, technology plays an indispensable role in
this
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 era not only to socialize but
also
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 in working, studying and lifestyles.I firmly agree with the statement above as it outweighed the negative effects on mental health which can be solved by each individual’s time management.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
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