IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Nowadays agriculture improve a lot and farmers can produce a lot of food for people. But many countries have problem for foot shortage. what should they do?

#agriculture #farmers #food #people #countries #foot #shortage
Nowadays agriculture improve a
lot
 and farmers can produce a
lot
 of food for people. But many
countries
 have
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 foot
shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
show examples
. I think many
countries
 do not have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 situation for agriculture
such
 as a farm,enough water and good water.Farmers need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new technology and these things are expensive and most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the people can not buy them.
Therefore
.
government
 should help and they must give loans that agriculture can buy these devices and they can work with them and improve
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of their products. I believe that, when a country
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 excellent farm,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should make a suitable land for
agrecultures
Correct your spelling
agriculture
agricultures
.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 addition, if
this
 country
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have enough water,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 has to teach farmers that work with
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 method .
Furthermore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should provide new technology and devices.so,
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 way
countries
 do not have
Add an article
a problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and they can solve
these
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
problem
 very quickly but these ways related to that governments should have a
lot
 of money.
unfortunatly
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
,
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
problem
 a
lot
 of
countries
 is that they do not have enough budget. To sum up,I think if
reach
Correct your spelling
rich
show examples
countries
 help poor
countries
 ,they can solve
this
problem
 and we do not have people in the world.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: