Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some

people

Use synonyms

think that

government

Use synonyms

should not provide monetary benefits to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

elderly citizens because it is the duty of every citizen to be ready for

retirement

Use synonyms

and

support

Use synonyms

themselves. Be that as it may, my opinion stands opposed to

this

Linking Words

idea because neglecting aged

people

Use synonyms

in any way is downright unhumanitarian.

Its

Replace the word

It's

It is

show examples

true that every person must take steps years in advance in order to secure their future after

retirement

Use synonyms

rather than expecting the

government

Use synonyms

to take

care

Use synonyms

of their expenses.

For instance

Linking Words

, a working individual can always opt for a suitable pension scheme and save a part of their monthly income towards their pension account which can be withdrawn with interest only when they are retired.

Therefore

Linking Words

, these actions when initiated well in advance yield great benefits in terms of financial security for an elderly

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

without relying on

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

to cover their expenses.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, it is

Change preposition

apply

show examples

my opinion that the

government

Use synonyms

should act humanely

towards

Change preposition

toward

show examples

elderly

people

Use synonyms

who cannot

support

Use synonyms

themselves. Some

people

Use synonyms

are unable to plan for

retirement

Use synonyms

due to their existing circumstances.

For example

Linking Words

, there are many

under-privileged

Correct your spelling

underprivileged

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who are financially incapable due to less income and

therefore

Linking Words

rely on

government

Use synonyms

institutions to provide

care

Use synonyms

and financial

support

Use synonyms

when they are aged.

Therefore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

must provide free

care

Use synonyms

and

support

Use synonyms

to those elderly folks

whose

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

need it the most for they are

also

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part of the country and should not be neglected whatsoever. In conclusion,

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should provide

care

Use synonyms

and monetary

support

Use synonyms

to those elderly

people

Use synonyms

who deserve the most rather than spending on those who are capable of taking

care

Use synonyms

of themselves

post

Add a hyphen

post-retirement

show examples

retirement

Use synonyms

shailjameel2410

Apr 18, 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Some feel that tourism endangers culture while others feel it tis beneficial. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

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