Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
Use synonyms
think that
government
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should not provide monetary benefits to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly citizens because it is the duty of every citizen to be ready for
retirement
Use synonyms
and
support
Use synonyms
themselves. Be that as it may, my opinion stands opposed to
this
Linking Words
idea because neglecting aged
people
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in any way is downright unhumanitarian.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
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true that every person must take steps years in advance in order to secure their future after
retirement
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rather than expecting the
government
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to take
care
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of their expenses.
For instance
Linking Words
, a working individual can always opt for a suitable pension scheme and save a part of their monthly income towards their pension account which can be withdrawn with interest only when they are retired.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these actions when initiated well in advance yield great benefits in terms of financial security for an elderly
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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without relying on
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
to cover their expenses.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is
of
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apply
show examples
my opinion that the
government
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should act humanely
towards
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toward
show examples
elderly
people
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who cannot
support
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themselves. Some
people
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are unable to plan for
retirement
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due to their existing circumstances.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many
under-privileged
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
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people
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who are financially incapable due to less income and
therefore
Linking Words
rely on
government
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institutions to provide
care
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and financial
support
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when they are aged.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
must provide free
care
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and
support
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to those elderly folks
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
need it the most for they are
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part of the country and should not be neglected whatsoever. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should provide
care
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and monetary
support
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to those elderly
people
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who deserve the most rather than spending on those who are capable of taking
care
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of themselves
post
Add a hyphen
post-retirement
show examples
retirement
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shailjameel2410 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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