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Band 4.5

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities 有利于 rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

#rise #country #benefit #cities #areas
There is an increasing number of people believing that urban
areas
 will get more benefits than rural
areas
 while the living quality increases. In
this
 essay ,I will highlight the reasons and suggest solutions. In terms of the problem, the huge difference between urban
areas
 and rural
areas
 caused the social disparity.
For example
, city residents’
income
 levels are higher than rural dwellers, and they have access to better welfare systems
such
 as high-end medical and better educational resources, while rural residents do not. As for the solution, the government should use taxation to help minimize the gap.
In other words
, governments can increase corporate tax and individual
income
 tax. A larger proportion of overall tax revenue will channel to the rural residents as a form of subsidies.
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
With regard to another reason,/On top of that... on account of because of the considerable
income
 better employment opportunities in cities, many immigrants from villages pour into urban
areas
 and there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 issue what
this
 causes a lacks manpower in
rural
Add an article
a rural
the rural
show examples
 area.
For instance
, in China, artificial? manufacturing industry and agricultural sector force face a shortage of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 force since a few people left in the rural area. As for the solution, the government should invest more in the villages and
therefore
 local companies can provide better employment opportunities which offer higher salaries. Take the example of Hainan, the government has been developing tourism in Hainan. Nowadays, residents can rely on
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 for a living. There is no need for them to migrate to more developed cities. The
income
 improves locals’ quality of life.
Submitted by youhua94 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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