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Band 4.5

The government pay university tuition for students. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#government #university #tuition #students
Students
 should be paid
university
tuition
 by the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
. While it is true that it brings some
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
, I would argue that its benefits are greater. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
governments
Change noun form
government's
show examples
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
tuition
Add an article
the tuition
show examples
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 in
university
 for
students
,
this
 brings many benefits.
Firstly
, it may reduce
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
 burden for
students
 which helps them concentrate more on their studies.
Then
, their academic performance
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
 positively.
For example
, To pay
university
tuiton
Correct your spelling
tuition
 for a year, my brother had to work
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 job
in addition
 to
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
.
As a result
, he got expelled from
university
 because he lacked too many credits.
Secondly
, there are many
students
 attend to
university
 which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to the quality of education may be enhanced.
Finally
, paying
Add an article
a fee
the fee
show examples
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 for
students
 in
university
 or college could help
poor
Add an article
the poor
a poor
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 have a chance to pursue higher education, which could make the quality of
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
 improved.
Besides
 its benefit,
students
 do not have to pay
university
tuition
 has some drawbacks.
First
,
students
 might not be grateful for their studies.
For example
, they could skip lectures or not do
Add an article
the assignment
an assignment
show examples
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
.
This
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in wasting government money.
Moreover
, having many
university
 and colleges, so if the government want to remain
this
 policy, they have to spend a huge of money.
This
 leads to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of money for other sectors
such
 as health care or
military
Correct article usage
the military
show examples
 and
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
some problems. Meanwhile,
although
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not pay
tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 at
university
 has some disadvantages, I believe that it is better to have the advantages.
Submitted by Eteacher on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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