IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
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There is no doubt that medical
services
Use synonyms
 should be unpaid for all citizens, even though the newest treatments are not affordable due to the high cost. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement to a maximum extent and
this
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 essay will elaborate on
this
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 in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 paragraphs.
First
Linking Words
 of all, every
country
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 set up certain tax deductions that
people
Use synonyms
 have to pay on obligatory
order
Fix the agreement mistake
orders
show examples
 monthly, which can provide
people
Use synonyms
 to obtain free medical
services
Use synonyms
. All these fees are allocated to the support of medical workers,
increase
Add an article
an increase
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of
Change preposition
apply
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doctor’s
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
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,
preservation
Replace the word
preserve
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 of environment etc.
Additionally
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, the
health
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 generation is the perspective future of the government, since it is important to maintain one’s
health
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 for the best achievements.
For instance
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,
plethora
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a plethora
the plethora
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 of populations cannot afford the medical
services
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 in sub-African countries,
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
 these
people
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 suffer from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 variety of illnesses and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has a negative effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 and national expansion. Another reason is that some
people
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 cannot work and earn a good living for the treatments, mainly these
people
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 possess severe diseases,
therefore
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 free aid with
medical
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a medical
show examples
treat
Replace the word
treatment
show examples
 from
government
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the government
show examples
 is important for
this
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 group of
people
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. It should be noted that the physical
health
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 of
people
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connected
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is connected
show examples
 directly with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental wellness,
consequently
Linking Words
quality
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the quality
show examples
 of life in the
country
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 and the index of
people
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’s happiness depends on the
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. The latest medical treatments may save a myriad of
newborn’s
Change noun form
newborns
show examples
 life, which were born in
insolvent
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an insolvent
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 with difficult illnesses and the medical cutting-edge technologies can help create a
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 generation and improve the population growth. To conclude, it can hardly be argued that
Correct article usage
the low
show examples
low class
Add a hyphen
low-class
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 population can acquire expensive medical
services
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, as regards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the handicapped
people
Use synonyms
 who do not have any livelihoods, their
health
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 will deteriorate without free medical insurance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, sick individuals inhibit the effective development of the
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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