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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #people’s #health
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It is generally acknowledged by certain individuals that a big metropolis is not an adequate place to live in as the environment of it is harmful to dwellers' health. Regarding
this
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, I strongly agree with
this
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 assertion, and there are certain reasons. To
begine
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begin
 with, major
cities
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 have faced serious
air
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 pollution As the population has increased, people are increasingly using transportation including private cars. Not only does the excessive use of cars emit
exhust
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exhaust
 fumes, but it may
also
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 contribute to
air
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 pollution in urban areas, thereby leading to major health problems
such
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 as
athma
Correct your spelling
asthma
 and pneumonia
For example
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, recent media in Korea reports that the quality of
air
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 is much lower in
cities
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 compared to
rular
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regular
ruler
 areas, and
therefore
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cities
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 have more number of
patents
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patients
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 who have respiratory illnesses than
countryside
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the countryside
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.
Furthermore
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, if an infection
occur
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occurs
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 in urban areas, it would cause devastating results. since citizens are not able to maintain
certain
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a certain
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 distance between each other due to a lack of place, infectious illnesses cannot be
Correct your spelling
banned
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baned
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banned
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 from spreading.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by the Korea Health Foundation has revealed that the infection rate of tuberculosis is 30% higher in major
cities
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 than in
outskirts
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the outskirts
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.
Therefore
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, living in a city means a dangerous means of being healthier. In conclusion, as a matter of clustering in
cities
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, living in
cities
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 is not a good idea as people suffer from respiratory diseases due to
air
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 pollution, and they
also
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 fail to keep a distance, thereby leading to spreading infection.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

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