Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #people’s #health

It is generally acknowledged by certain individuals that a big metropolis is not an adequate place to live in as the environment of it is harmful to dwellers' health. Regarding

this

, I strongly agree with

this

assertion, and there are certain reasons. To

begine

Correct your spelling

begin

with, major

cities

have faced serious

air

pollution As the population has increased, people are increasingly using transportation including private cars. Not only does the excessive use of cars emit

exhust

Correct your spelling

exhaust

fumes, but it may

also

contribute to

air

pollution in urban areas, thereby leading to major health problems

such

athma

Correct your spelling

asthma

and pneumonia

For example

, recent media in Korea reports that the quality of

air

is much lower in

cities

compared to

rular

Correct your spelling

regular

ruler

areas, and

therefore

cities

have more number of

patents

Correct your spelling

patients

show examples

who have respiratory illnesses than

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

Furthermore

, if an infection

occur

Change the verb form

occurs

show examples

in urban areas, it would cause devastating results. since citizens are not able to maintain

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

distance between each other due to a lack of place, infectious illnesses cannot be

Correct your spelling

banned

show examples

baned

Correct your spelling

banned

show examples

from spreading.

For instance

, a survey conducted by the Korea Health Foundation has revealed that the infection rate of tuberculosis is 30% higher in major

cities

than in

outskirts

Correct article usage

the outskirts

show examples

Therefore

, living in a city means a dangerous means of being healthier. In conclusion, as a matter of clustering in

cities

, living in

cities

is not a good idea as people suffer from respiratory diseases due to

air

pollution, and they

also

fail to keep a distance, thereby leading to spreading infection.

Submitted by hiasince38 on Tue Apr 19 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Now a days many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or an organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of self employment