IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socialise #face #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
An increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 meet and talk to their friends online
instead
Linking Words
 of in person. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development that can lead to isolation, potentially harmful situations and
also
Linking Words
 problems later on in life. One serious problem that can arise from
people
Use synonyms
 socialising online is that it can lead to isolation. Before the internet,
people
Use synonyms
 would frequently go out to meet friends,
for example
Linking Words
 in cafes, bars or restaurants, whereas now
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to stay at home alone, chatting online.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are starting to spend the majority of their time alone at home in their room without meeting others. Isolation of
this
Linking Words
 kind is not healthy and can sometimes lead to depression and other issues. Another issue is that meeting
people
Use synonyms
 online can be risky.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can assume fake identities online as well as hide their true characteristics.
This
Linking Words
 is particularly concerning for teenagers who are impressionable and can easily be led into dangerous situations.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as
this
Linking Words
 interaction is online, parents have no way of monitoring it and protecting their children.
Finally
Linking Words
, socialising online can end in difficulties years later as conversations and shared photos that had been forgotten reappear.
This
Linking Words
 situation is currently critical for many
people
Use synonyms
, again ,especially teenagers who do not think carefully before posting online.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, information
that is
Linking Words
 put online can remain there forever and while
people
Use synonyms
 may share intimate communications with close friends, these words can
then
Linking Words
 resurface later on leading to much embarrassment. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it has become more popular for
people
Use synonyms
 to socialise through the internet, it has brought about too many problems for
this
Linking Words
 to be considered a positive trend.
Submitted by jackson05234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social media platforms
  • online interactions
  • virtual communication
  • global community
  • interpersonal skills
  • digital divide
  • cyberspace
  • virtual presence
  • social networking
  • mental wellbeing
  • digital literacy
  • safe spaces
  • marginalized groups
  • face-to-face communication
  • socialisation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: