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Band 4

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #countries #pleasure #believe #impact
Today, people tend to go
for
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on
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 a vacation to other countries for their satisfaction. It is believed by people that
journey
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journeys
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for
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to
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 other countries
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effects
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 negatively on these areas. Despite
this
 fact, I suppose that
tourism
 has more benefits to the
country
 than its drawbacks due to its beneficial impact
to
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on
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 the
economic
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economy
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to
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of
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 the
country
 and
advantageous
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its advantageous
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 effect
to
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on
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 the mindset of
country’s
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the country’s
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 citizens.
Firstly
,
sphere
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the sphere
a sphere
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 of
tourism
 develops the economical state of the area. If there is an increase in the flow of tourists, there will be opened new
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workplaces
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work places
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workplaces
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, which enhances the economic condition of an area. Not only does
tourism
opens
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open
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 new
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workplaces
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work places
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workplaces
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, but
also
tourism
 evolves the infrastructure of a region. Creating hotels, restaurants and travel agencies is profitable, as it will increase the taxes for the government, which plays a key role in
an
Correct article usage
the
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 economy of the
country
.
Moreover
,
tourist
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tourists
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 tend to spend money in the
country
 that they travelled
, which
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to, which
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 means that money will come from other places to
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the travelled
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travelled
Wrong verb form
travel
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 area.
Hence
, there will be more income
to
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in
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 the budget of a
country
.
Secondly
,
arrival
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the arrival
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 of tourists increases the awareness of citizens about other nations,
cultures
Correct word choice
and cultures
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 and formulate tolerance in their
mind
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minds
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. Taking representatives of other
culture
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cultures
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 and
race
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races
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 respectively is
essential
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an essential
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 quality, which helps to bridge new relationships.
Moreover
, it shows how adequate and sensible the person is.
In addition
,
coming
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the coming
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 of
travelers
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travellers
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 stimulate the hospitability and friendship qualities of
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
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 inhabitants. People, by meeting and seeing new tourists, will be more kind and grateful for them.
Finally
,
travelers
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travellers
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develops
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develop
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 the economic condition of the
country
 that they
travelled
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travel
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 to and form new good personal qualities in citizens of their travelled region. In my opinion, the government of each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
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 should pay more attention to the evolution of the sphere of
tourism
.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exchanges
  • Global connections
  • Tourism boosts
  • Local economy
  • Over-tourism
  • Environmental degradation
  • Landmarks
  • Commodification of culture
  • Authentic cultural expressions
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Tourism infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Disrespect local customs
What to do next:
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