IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #countries #pleasure #believe #impact
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Today, people tend to go
for
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on
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 a vacation to other countries for their satisfaction. It is believed by people that
journey
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journeys
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for
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to
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 other countries
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effects
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effect
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affect
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 negatively on these areas. Despite
this
Linking Words
 fact, I suppose that
tourism
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 has more benefits to the
country
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 than its drawbacks due to its beneficial impact
to
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on
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 the
economic
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economy
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to
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of
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 the
country
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 and
advantageous
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its advantageous
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 effect
to
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on
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 the mindset of
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country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
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 citizens.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
sphere
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the sphere
a sphere
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 of
tourism
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 develops the economical state of the area. If there is an increase in the flow of tourists, there will be opened new
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workplaces
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work places
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workplaces
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, which enhances the economic condition of an area. Not only does
tourism
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opens
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open
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 new
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workplaces
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work places
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workplaces
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, but
also
Linking Words
tourism
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 evolves the infrastructure of a region. Creating hotels, restaurants and travel agencies is profitable, as it will increase the taxes for the government, which plays a key role in
an
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the
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 economy of the
country
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
tourist
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tourists
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 tend to spend money in the
country
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 that they travelled
, which
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to, which
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 means that money will come from other places to
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the travelled
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travelled
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travel
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 area.
Hence
Linking Words
, there will be more income
to
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in
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 the budget of a
country
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
arrival
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the arrival
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 of tourists increases the awareness of citizens about other nations,
cultures
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and cultures
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 and formulate tolerance in their
mind
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minds
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. Taking representatives of other
culture
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cultures
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 and
race
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races
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 respectively is
essential
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an essential
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 quality, which helps to bridge new relationships.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it shows how adequate and sensible the person is.
In addition
Linking Words
,
coming
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the coming
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 of
travelers
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travellers
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 stimulate the hospitability and friendship qualities of
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country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
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 inhabitants. People, by meeting and seeing new tourists, will be more kind and grateful for them.
Finally
Linking Words
,
travelers
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travellers
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develops
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develop
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 the economic condition of the
country
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 that they
travelled
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travel
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 to and form new good personal qualities in citizens of their travelled region. In my opinion, the government of each
countries
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country
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 should pay more attention to the evolution of the sphere of
tourism
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exchanges
  • Global connections
  • Tourism boosts
  • Local economy
  • Over-tourism
  • Environmental degradation
  • Landmarks
  • Commodification of culture
  • Authentic cultural expressions
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Tourism infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Disrespect local customs
What to do next:
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