IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Due to increasing world demandings for oil and gas energy, people need to look for a new sources of energy in remote and untouched natural places. DO advantages of locating these sources outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #demandings #oil #gas #energy #people #sources #places
Nowadays, an increasing number of
people
 are concerned about looking for new
sources
 of
energy
 in remote places. Some
people
 state that locating these
sources
 in remote areas would be detrimental to
people
's health and the environment, while others believe that it is beneficial to local residents when there are new
energy
 plants in these places. I mainly agree that the advantages of building more factories that produced more
energy
 outweigh the disadvantages.
First
, it is clear that exploiting oil and gas
energy
 in untouched regions would create a wide range of job opportunities because more and more
energy
 plants would be built. My town,
for example
, has become a potential place to provide a source of gas
energy
 to many factories, which helps a number of local
people
 have well-paid jobs.
As a result
,
people
 who live around these industrial complexes do not move to cities in search of employment opportunities.
This
 helps improve their living standards and their income. According to recent surveys, a decline was witnessed in the unemployment rate by 15% thanks to the appearance of new industries in untouched regions.
Moreover
, developing
sources
 of fossil fuels
energy
 in remote regions could make a considerable economic growth.
This
 is because the oil price has been increasing dramatically in recent years, which makes huge profits for oil companies. On top of that, the government
also
 receive more tax revenues from these companies, which boosts the local economic and social development. To summarize, looking for new
sources
 of
energy
 in suburban areas would bring a lot of benefits.
Therefore
, the idea of locating these
sources
 can be supported. After a thorough analysis of
this
 subject, it is predicted that the positive effects would be greater than the adverse effects.
Submitted by htkd3295 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: