Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to young children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A number of people advocate that unpaid community services should be a part of secondary schools. Indeed, to my mind, there is
now
Correct your spelling
no
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convincing evidence that the schools are the best teachers of life. I agree with
this
essay`s statement
with
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to
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maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
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extent.
First
of all, in
a
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the
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life of every
person
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,person
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a very important is a raising. Every human is
obligate
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obliged
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to socialize
on
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in
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society. He cannot do
this
on his own.
Therefore
, helps
to
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apply
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him his parents, friends and relatives.
Moreover
, helps
to
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apply
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him
a
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with a
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different government establishment, one of
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is the schools. During our
school
years, we participated in charity and spiritual and moral education programs. Which educates
in
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apply
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each pupil
the
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on the
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desire for a good, healthy lifestyle, respect and love for the surrounding nature, Motherland,
family
Correct word choice
and family
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. Another reason is that a person goes to
school
at a young age. Usually on 7 age. In
this
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these
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years the children know nothing
on
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about
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an
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the
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
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world. According to my own experience, at the high
school
, we were involved in
road
duty near the
school
on the pedestrian sign. To get interested in the process, we were given special cards of a traffic police officer, and a traffic controller's baton. When a
school
pupil was going to cross the
road
, we used a baton to stop cars.
Accordingly
, the drivers stopped with an approving smile.
This
educational program focused on the rules of the
road
has given a very solid installation that it is necessary to cross the
road
in the places prescribed by law. What I follow to
this
day. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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community services should be part of high
school
,
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apply
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because
in
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during
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school
periods the teachers become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
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for pupils.
Therefore
, the teachers must teach not only
school
subjects
also
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but also
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how to live and
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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humanity
Replace the word
human
show examples
at all.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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