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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think getting old is entirely bad, but other people do think it’s much better for old people to live now than in the past. Please show your idea with explanation, examples and your knowledge.

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Introduction
It has become a common phenomenon for
people
Use synonyms
 in a number of countries to enjoy an increasing
life
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 expectancy. While some
people
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 believe it is horrible just to imagine getting old , I think the situation has completely changed
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to decades ago and now elderly
people
Use synonyms
 can lead a happy
life
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.
Body paragraph 1
In some cases, the seniors do experience empty nest syndrome because their children are away from home.
However
Linking Words
, things are different nowadays. There are numerous residential homes with trained carers in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 country and they have become a perfect place for the elderly to stay after retirement, where the elderly will not feel lonely and bored with the company of their peers.
Body paragraph 2
Another concern for numerous senior citizens is the health problem. In the past, without advanced medical science, the seniors tend to suffer from various kinds of diseases, which decrease their quality of
life
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Change preposition
to at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 great extent.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical science is developing at an amazing speed and
this
Linking Words
 trend can at least delay the onset of some chronic conditions
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
with
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 body, the elderly can enjoy happier lives.
Body paragraph 3
Apart from the two factors discussed above,
instead
Linking Words
 of feeling useless or frustrated, elderly
people
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 can work beyond the retirement age or devote themselves to somewhere else to enrich their
life
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.
For example
Linking Words
, a friend of my grandfather
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 as a
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 doctor in his local community. In
this
Linking Words
 way, not only does he make
best
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the best
show examples
 use of his time, but
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 a number of neighbours.
Conclusion
To sum up, I hold the viewpoint that with the development of society and care from family members, elderly
people
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 can enjoy a more satisfying and
meanfuling
Correct your spelling
meaning
life
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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