IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #products #development
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Novel
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 technologies and developments, including smartphones and laptops, have been widely used to make
people
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 more comfortable. The competition between commercial
companies
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 to sell their
products
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 in a similar way has been strongly increasing in recent years.
Therefore
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, the promising way to attractively introduce their potential
products
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 to
people
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 is by claiming the
product
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 as a
novel
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product
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. Nowadays, the
novel
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products
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 produced by commercial
companies
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 have been interesting to
people
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. Due to its limited function or luxurious design, most
people
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 have been trying to sell it since the very
first
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 time it sold out.
However
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, not only does
one
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 commercial company sell the potential
product
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, but it
also
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 has other proficient
companies
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. To attract
people
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, the company should advertise their
product
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 as the new
one
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.
For example
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, if
people
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 want to be the owners of the most effective lab tops, they will research and find some new lab tops from reliable
companies
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. They would rather prefer to buy the new
one
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 than the previous version of the
product
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 because they can get the
product
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 with a more effective function. From my perspective, advertising and claiming the
product
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 as the
novel
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 of the commercial company have been affecting other
companies
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' ability to encourage and develop their
products
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 more effectively. It has a positive effect on the development of technologies to make
people
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's lives better. In conclusion, claiming and advertising the
product
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 as the new
one
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 has been an important part of the development and improvement of technologies in recent years. Even though the competition between the big
companies
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 has been strongly increasing,
people
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 can still obtain profits from
this
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 situation.
Submitted by phanphetpor on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovation
  • Fast-paced
  • Distinguishing
  • Psychological aspect
  • Inherently
  • Perceived
  • Continuous improvement
  • Revolutionary
  • Feasible
  • Throwaway culture
  • Undervalue
  • Longevity
  • Obscure
  • Novelty
  • Unsatisfactory
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