Some people prefer to live in an extended family where a number of different generations live together. Others prefer to live in a small, nuclear family. List some of the advantages and disadvantages of living in a large, extended family.

Living in an extended family where various generations live together
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
preferred
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
some
people
,
while
others think
nuclear
Add an article
a nuclear
show examples
family with only partners and children is better. In
this
essay, I will examine what are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a large extended family. To live with different ages together in a house has several benefits. The elderly would have young
people
taking care of them because the old might have some difficulties doing their own everyday life routine. The
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
having
Add an article
a problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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with walking may need strong youngsters to
held
Wrong verb form
hold
show examples
their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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for moving
one
Change preposition
from one
show examples
place to another,
for instance
.
Likewise
, adult couples with children are likely to rely on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
people
for taking
Change preposition
to take
show examples
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
their babies. Couples in Thailand who have retired old
grandmother
Fix the agreement mistake
grandmothers
show examples
at home are a good example of
this
. The reason is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
the price of hiring a nanny is expensive for them.
On the other hand
, small nuclear
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
with only partners and children are preferred
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
some
people
for many negative aspects of extended family. Too many
people
living together might bring about possible disturbance from one another
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and may lead to some arguments or
fight
Correct subject-verb agreement
fights
show examples
.
Due to
the difference in age, teenagers and adults or old
people
could have different ways of thinking.
For example
, Teenagers listening to loud music would disturb the old who want to live in
quiet
Add an article
a quiet
show examples
and peaceful environment. The consequences are
finally
some
people
moving out and living with only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
people
. In conclusion, living in an extended family has a number of advantages,
whereas
Correct word choice
but
show examples
there are
also
negative perspectives. In my personal opinion, I think it depends on the way
people
choose to live their lives because
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
own benefits and drawbacks.
Submitted by p.poompimmm on

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task achievement
To improve your task achievement, consider providing more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and thorough.
coherence cohesion
Strive for greater coherence and cohesion by ensuring that all your paragraphs are well-developed and connected with appropriate transitional phrases. This will help in maintaining a smooth flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which clearly present the topic and summarize the main points.
task achievement
Your essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of living in an extended family, showing a balanced approach.
task achievement
You utilize relevant examples to back up your points, which helps in illustrating your arguments.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • support system
  • cultural traditions
  • financial support
  • economical
  • emotional support
  • companionship
  • isolation
  • privacy
  • conflicts
  • disagreements
  • responsibilities
  • obligations
  • burdensome
  • decision-making
  • diverse role models
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