Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.To what extent you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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It is argued that celebs are more popular for their luxurious lifestyle and glamour than

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

accomplishments and

this

Linking Words

misleads the

youth

Use synonyms

in the wrong direction.

This

Linking Words

essay completely agrees with the statement. I believe

this

Linking Words

portrayal of themselves as having a lavish life has made the

youth

Use synonyms

insecure about themselves and made them set unrealistic goals.

Celebrities

Use synonyms

flaunting their beauty and physique on social media has made the

youth

Use synonyms

believe that following the same lifestyle will actually make them successful. Young women,

in particular

Linking Words

, develop an inferiority complex when they compare their faces and figure to those of actresses.

Instead

Linking Words

of focusing on their personality and developing some soft skills, they start investing in cosmetics and plastic surgery so that they can imitate their favourite actor or actress.

Consequently

Linking Words

celebrities

Use synonyms

encourage the

youth

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to invest more in materialistic things than in personality development. A lot of famous personalities on television give

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

fake speeches

Change preposition

about

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how they accomplished so much in so little time. As the

youth

Use synonyms

tend to believe whatever they see on any media platforms, they set unachievable goals for themselves without realising that these

celebrities

Use synonyms

haven’t tasted any big success yet and are just faking it so that they can stay relevant.

For instance

Linking Words

(put a comma after

for instance

Linking Words

and

for example

Linking Words

) a famous celebrity called Kendel Jenner is more famous for her social media platform as it has millions of followers but in

reality

Add a comma

,reality

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she does not seem to have any real talent whatsoever. In conclusion, when

celebrities

Use synonyms

flaunt their beauty and wealth, they make ordinary people, especially, youngsters feel inferior and

hence

Linking Words

, in my opinion,

this

Linking Words

practice of them promoting their extravagant lifestyle is indeed bad for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Submitted by sandysarai on Thu Apr 21 2022

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.To what extent you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut subjects such as arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction for all workers? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of these fashions

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages?