IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The food travels thousand of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think that it would be better to our environment and economy if people only ate local produced food. What extent do the advantages outweigh disadvantages ?

#food #thousand #miles #farm #consumer #people #environment #economy
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Since the advent of aviation ,
food
Use synonyms
 travel has become
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 common phenomenon.
However
Linking Words
, it is suggested that local
food
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 ought to
be opted
Change to the active voice
opt
have opted
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 in order to
safegaurd
Correct your spelling
safeguard
 the environment and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
benefit the farmers. Admittedly,
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 can enjoy
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 variety of
food
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items
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
 , imported
food
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 impinges on
biosphere
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the biosphere
show examples
 and on the economy of a nation incredibly. On the one hand , importing needed
food
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items
Use synonyms
 from the other nation is highly beneficial ,
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 can have
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
food
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items
Use synonyms
 on their
Correct your spelling
dining
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dinning
Correct your spelling
dining
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 table which can only be possible thanks to the importation of
food
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 . To add to it ,
land
Correct article usage
the land
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 of certain countries is not fertile relatively to others which may
further
Linking Words
 yield to the scarcity of necessary
food
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. To cite an example , Arabian countries are unable to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 owing to
Add an article
the non
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non fertile
Add a hyphen
non-fertile
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 soil .
Therefore
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 it is inevitable that dependence on
food
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 travel has become the need of the hour for many nations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , buying
food
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 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other countries is extremely detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 .
Firstly
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 , transportation
mode
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modes
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,
range
Wrong verb form
ranging
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 from lorries to
aeroplane
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aeroplanes
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 are needed to provide
such
Linking Words
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
food
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items
Use synonyms
 to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
every corner of the world .
Consequently
Linking Words
 ,
exorbitant
Add an article
an exorbitant
the exorbitant
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 amount of fossil fuel is consumed , which
further
Linking Words
 leads to the
depletation
Correct your spelling
depletion
 of our environment .
Secondly
Linking Words
 ,
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 have to pay
extra
Add an article
the extra
an extra
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cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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, included
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the price since these
food
Use synonyms
items
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 are taxed by statutory bodies while travelling , in that
case
Add the comma(s)
,case
show examples
 local
food
Use synonyms
items
Use synonyms
 can be cheaper and healthier. To conclude ,
food
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 travelling internationally is beneficial for the consumers though serious repercussions caused by
food
Use synonyms
 travel cannot be
ingnored
Correct your spelling
ignored
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • locally sourced
  • seasonal produce
  • nutritional value
  • food variety
  • local economy
  • global trade
  • supply chains
  • economic diversification
  • resilient food systems
  • regional climate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: