Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People have different options regarding the public
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
. It is argued that today the population live
more long
Rephrase
longer
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than past.
Hence
, Old generations could on going their
works
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work
show examples
.
This
essay will examine cases of
this
action and the forthcoming paragraphs
discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
both the agreement and the disagreement sides. On the one hand, the basic advantage is that youngsters
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
learn lots of work from the old
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
In other words
, seniors have more experience and in turn, they should be tutors in the workplace for new ones.
Additionally
, old workers are more beneficial for the company because they
knew
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
what to do if the firm
faced
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faces
show examples
some
kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
kind
show examples
of difficulties.
Also
, they are more convenient for their co-workers because old nations more adapted their
colleague's
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colleagues'
show examples
characters
that's
Correct your spelling
that is
show examples
why it
easier
Add a missing verb
is easier
show examples
to work with them who have worked
many
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for many
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years
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in
show examples
only one workplace.
For example
,the community who lived in my home country may
be worked
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work
show examples
after their retirement if they want, especially educational sphere.
On the other hand
, the main disadvantage is that old people do not have enough skills
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to use modern devices. To put it another way, presently the population live in a modern and
technological advance
Replace the word
technologically advanced
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world.
Hence
, the
old
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older
show examples
generation will face some sorts of problems like computer skills and maybe
languages
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language
show examples
barriers.Because, the nowadays large team requires lots of skills
such
as the ability of communication, IT programmes.
Furthermore
, factories receive more young public than elderly ones.Because
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation is more adaptable , more useful and more beneficial when the team have to suddenly decision making.
For instance
, in the Newyork percentage of young workers make
a
Change preposition
up a
show examples
significant portion and becomes approximately 90% in the US. In conclusion, I support both sides of
this
statement and I think old people are more important for the company as a role of tutors but the Young generation
pay
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pays
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key features on developing
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
.
Submitted by khushnudrustamovich on

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coherence cohesion
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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • workforce
  • mentorship
  • mental and physical health
  • community engagement
  • rapidly changing work environments
  • economic stability
  • age discrimination
  • workplace adjustments
  • financial strain
  • pension systems
  • diversifying
  • creativity
  • problem-solving
  • retirement norms
  • flexible working hours
  • part-time positions
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