Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

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Various
items
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

made
Add a missing verb
were made

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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in manual
during
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the past, which was commonly believed that full of physical feelings, but now made by
modern
Add an article
the modern

The noun phrase modern machine seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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machine as the technology development. Some people
argues
Change the verb form
argue

The verb argues does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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that handcraft products
owns
Change the verb form
own

The singular verb owns does not appear to agree with the plural subject handcraft products. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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higher value than the standard machine products, while others keep
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
an opposite

The noun phrase opposite point seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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point. In my view,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

development will bring more advantages for it is not only drop down the cost but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

increase the
efficient
Replace the word
efficiency

The word efficient doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. On the one hand, handcrafts represent mental value and concern emotion which was cherished as
the
Correct article usage
an

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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important gift
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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be well-stored. As the Chinese traditional saying goes, focus on the meaning behind
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the products
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of the price.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when people are shy to express their feelings in words, they
prefer
Add the particle
toprefer

It appears that the verb make should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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make something in manual and send it as a gift which
represent
Change the verb form
represents

The plural verb represent does not appear to agree with the singular subject a gift. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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lots of words, and these special kinds of
items
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that will not
replaced
Change the verb form
be replaced

The verb replaced after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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by
mechanism
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

forever.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the quantity and quality
has
Change the verb form
have

It appears that the singular verb has does not agree with the plural compound subject the quantity and quality. Consider changing the verb to the plural form.

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been promoted and increased with the
mechanism
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

fast-development
Change preposition
of fast-development

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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, which
is benefit
Change the verb form
benefits

It appears that the form of the verb benefit does not work with is in this sentence.

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our society and
individual's
Change noun form
individual

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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life.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, making clothes by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand

It seems that hands may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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will cost months and too
much
Change the quantifier
many

It appears that the quantifier much does not fit with the countable noun resources. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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resources, which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes

It seems that the verb cause does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the clothes without
same
Correct article usage
the same

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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standard and high price. While, modern
mechanism
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

factory can
product
Replace the word
produce

The word product doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the clothes once a time with the same quality and huge quantity in a few hours, which can directly and efficient decline the price for each cloth and maintain the customer can enjoy the same service with the same expense. In conclusion, the modern
mechanism
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

development which
is not benefit
Change the verb form
does not benefit

It appears that the form of the verb benefit does not work with is in this sentence.

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society
Change noun form
society's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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economy but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

individual's life. It
is not cause
Change the verb form
is not causing

It appears that the form of the verb cause does not work with is in this sentence.

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conflict with the handcraft
items
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for some people who
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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in hand-make can still keep making
items
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by themselves.
Submitted by lijialisally on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Manual labor
  • Displacement
  • Homemaking skills
  • Technological advancements
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Resource depletion
  • Energy efficiency
  • Social dynamics
  • Operational understanding
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