IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #country’s #economy #money
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It is considered that spending
money
 is beneficial for the homeland`s economic case
while
 some believe that people should save
money
. In my point of view, I believe it depends upon what a country`s situation is to decide whether
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
 the capital or save it. First of all, when it comes to economic development, the government should stimulate people
such
 as tourists, to spend
money
 in order to improve the economy.
This
 is because when a number of tourists purchase something from markets or eat in local restaurants, it supports local businesses and the total revenue of the companies increases. It is just one way to help businesses boost their sales.
Moreover
, many people run their own businesses and it creates new job opportunities.
On the other hand
, it is argued that the population should save funds for old age. If many residents consume a lot of
money
 randomly, resulting in falling debt, the government will need to tackle these financial problems
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 they cannot help individuals and families in need.
This
 can cause a number of detrimental effects
such
 as health care, transportation or education is hard to be improved
due to
 a lack of budget. Every individual should learn how to allocate their budget efficiently and it has to be tackled in the future. In conclusion, some countries` economic cases depend on earning from tourists and preventing debt from residents. If the community understand their social responsibilities, the top priority of most countries will maximize their profits.
Submitted by abbasoveli on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the topic and provides a clear opinion, but the development of ideas could be more detailed.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally good, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the main points could be better supported with more specific examples and evidence.
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