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Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour
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Nowadays, many schools and families are trying to teach
children
Use synonyms
 about right and wrong
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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.
However
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, different families have their own ways to teach their
children
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, while some parents are having the
punishment
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 when
the
Change the word
their
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children
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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bad things. In my perspective, I think that
punishment
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are
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is
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 one of the good factors to remind
children
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 about the terrible things they did, but the parents should have a
limit
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limited
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punishment
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 as well. So in the paragraph below I will show some sorts of
punishment
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 that I think parents should be followed.
Firstly
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,
quarantine
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quarantining
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 the
children
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 in their room without any social network is one of the
idea
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ideas
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 that I think
its
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is
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 the way to
changing
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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.
For example
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,
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children
childrens
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children
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 are too addicted to
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
the mobile
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 phone so if there are no network
children
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 will have more time to concentrate
to
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on
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others thing
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other things
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 and maybe they will change their thoughts.
Secondly
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, use a little
of
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apply
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violent
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violence
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such
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 as hitting because when
children
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 did some things wrong
these
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this punishment
these punishments
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punishment
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 will make them fear and remember it,
then
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 they will not do
this
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 again
in
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apply
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the
second
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 time.
For instance
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,
mom
Correct article usage
the mom
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 was slapping her
child
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child's
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 hand because her boy getting home very late. In summary, I partly agree that having the
punishment
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 can
changing
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
Use synonyms
children
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children's
show examples
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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 and
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
children
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what should
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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and shouldn’t do.
Submitted by chompunoot.raj on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
What to do next:
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