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Band 4.5

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #be #case #situation
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In some parts of the world,
people
Use synonyms
 think that possession of a property is crucial
instead
Linking Words
 of renting a living place.
This
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 situation is compounded by two factors: having higher self-esteem and having
family’s
Change noun form
family
show examples
 stability. In
this
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 essay, I’ll explain that
this
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 is a positive situation because it offers long
term
Use synonyms
 profit to the owners and
also
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 helps them to save money.
House
Use synonyms
 ownership not only gives the
people
Use synonyms
 self-satisfaction but
also
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
indicates their social classes. As a person’s wealth is measured by his or her possession in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, owning a
house
Use synonyms
 brings dignity
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
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.
For instance
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, if a person can afford to buy a million-dollar mansion, his or her social status is defined as a millionaire in the community.
Furthermore
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, living in an own
resident
Replace the word
residence
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 allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
one to
show examples
 sleep soundly because
one
Use synonyms
 doesn’t need to worry about uncertain situations that the landlord might not want to rent out anymore or might increase
rental
Add an article
the rental
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 beyond the affordable limit. Having no external force or reason to move out, there is stability
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 families and individuals by staying
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 place for many decades. For these reasons, most
people
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 prefer to own
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
house
Use synonyms
. All in all, the trend that
people
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 prefer
home ownership
Correct your spelling
homeownership
show examples
 rather than renting accommodation brings
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 due to its advantages.
Firstly
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, buying a
house
Use synonyms
 is
one
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 of the best investments which offers financial
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long run as property values usually rise over time. According to the reports,
house
Use synonyms
 prices have been increased over the
last
Linking Words
 decades and the experts are expecting that it will continue in the coming years as well.
Secondly
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,
home ownership
Correct your spelling
homeownership
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 provides financial security. Compare to spending money on monthly rental
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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, paying monthly
Change the spelling
instalment
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installment
Correct your spelling
instalments
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 for
property
Correct article usage
a property
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loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
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 always returns a value over years as the
house
Use synonyms
 will become
one
Use synonyms
’s own after
loan
Add an article
the loan
show examples
term
Use synonyms
 ends.
Therefore
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, regular payment for own accommodation is like
long
Correct article usage
a long
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term
Use synonyms
 saving. In conclusion, owning a home
instead
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 of renting
one
Use synonyms
 is very important in some countries because it reflects
people
Use synonyms
’s social status and offers stable life.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 the facts that gaining the profits and being able to save money in
long
Add an article
the long
show examples
term
Use synonyms
, proves that it is a very positive situation.
Submitted by jimmehan3 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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